Skip to main content

TIFU - Robot Vacuum Edition

Post a Comment

TIFU by trying to “fix” my posture and accidentally committing to it for 3 hours straight

This started as one of those random self-improvement moments.

I was at my desk and suddenly became hyper-aware that I sit like a shrimp. Back curved, neck forward, shoulders doing whatever they want. So I thought, okay, I’m going to fix this. Right now. New me.

I straightened up. Shoulders back, chest out, core engaged. I even Googled “correct sitting posture” and tried to match the diagram like I was being graded.

At first it felt great. Like I had unlocked some kind of adult achievement.

Then my brain decided that if I relaxed even slightly, I’d immediately revert back to being a shrimp forever. So I didn’t relax.

For three hours.

I sat there rigid like a museum mannequin. Didn’t lean back, didn’t shift, didn’t even reach for my water properly because that would break “form.” My coworker asked if I was okay because I hadn’t moved in a while and I said, through clenched abs, “I’m fixing my posture.”

Eventually I stood up and my entire body locked up. My back cramped, my legs felt like I’d been bracing for impact, and I had to walk like I’d just aged 40 years in one motion.

Turns out posture is something you adjust… not something you brute force like you’re trying to win a staring contest with your own spine.

TL;DR: Tried to fix my posture and instead sat like a statue for hours until my body revolted.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU Accidentally taught my 4 year old nephew the word chlamydia

So I very awkwardly taught my nephew, the word chlamydia the other day and not in the way that you would think… It was actually very innocent. I was with one of my sister’s friends and my friends who’s become part of the family and I was telling her about an interesting fact, not thinking about how my nephew was right beside us. I told her did you know that koalas can get chlamydia and that they can give it to humans… just a fun fact… and then he who can barely say clear words most of the time clearest day said koala chlamydia so that happened And he went to his grandmother’s house today, so I’m kinda hoping he doesn’t say that, but at the same time I would die laughter and about pee my pants if he did because holy crap, how do you react to that? TL:DR I shared a fact about koalas and my nephew hung on to two words from the sentence. Those two words which he repeated were koala chlamydia.
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU having sex with the hot tub

Happened a year ago, but today was when I was told how bad this is.    Having sex with the hot tub is a terrible idea.  Not IN the hot tub.  WITH the hot tub.    I like to relax at night in the hot tub.  No lights on, dark sky and all alone in my backyard.  Sometimes, the hot water and bubbles hit the right spot and things can get aroused.  Usually not a big deal and a little masturbation to climax helps with the relaxing part of the evening.  However, this night, I was too stressed to finish, but the erection would not go away.  I decided I had to take care of the issue and looked for the most immediate, intense stimulation by sticking my penis right up against the jet flow.  The feeling was incredibly intense and the desired effect took place within a minute.    Now I could relax.  But, something didn’t feel right.   Touching my semi-erect penis, I realized it was flopped over to the side, half way up...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by paying attention in class

Today in psychology my professor was talking about discrimination and the way people can judge others based on initial impressions. I happened to be looking my professor in the eyes when he was speaking to us, which is what I do with everyone talking to me. For some reason he didn’t like this, he stared back at me and continued speaking until eventually he interrupted his lecture to call me out. He said, “you there in the hoodie! do you think anybody knows who you are?” in a slightly aggressive tone. I was completely caught off guard by this, and I felt a lot of anxiety and sudden tension in me rise. I eventually said “no” and he said “I could discriminate against you based on your hoodie.” I didn’t think anything was wrong initially because he could have just been trying to make an example out of me to add to the lecture, except he had never done this with any other student before which is what made me also think it could have been targeted. Everything was fine until I did it agai...
Post a Comment
Read more