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TIFU by not knowing how to dance

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TIFUpdate: going next door (again)

OG post.

Gym bro messaged me this morning and asked if I was keen to come over in the afternoon. Dude got my number from the group chat for our apartment complex. I said I was working from home today, so it was possible, but I had a lot of work to do. I was just being polite. I didn't actually plan to return to apartment 6 because I didn't feel like seeing gym bro again so soon. I was planning to tell him I got busy or whatever, but I changed my mind when he said he wanted to share his list of prime suspects he believed slipped the noise complaint letter under my door the other day. I said okay. Cut to me sitting inside gym bro's apartment with the rest of his gym buddies.

Gym bro provided the names of two prime suspects he referred to as an incel and a Karen. Not really a list like he said, but at least he was invested, which I kind of appreciated. The gym bros leaned towards the so called incel who lived in apartment 9. I thanked the gym bros for pointing me in the right direction and said I was gonna look into it. I lied. I was just gonna let it go. Gym bro encouraged me to stay for lunch because he cooked enough steak for everyone. Not gonna lie, the steak looked delicious, so I stayed. Gym bro fed me more steak than my stomach had space for and made me drink an enormous glass of guava juice, which was apparently good for my eyes according to him. I was wearing my glasses, so clearly I required copious amounts of guava juice.

I was so fucking full, I couldn't even get up. Gym bro offered me weed afterwards. I said my gf would kill me. Gym bro put his arm around my shoulder and said he saw a man driving in front of him, and on the man's back window was written "Like it or not. Ready or not. Christ is coming. Floods. Famine. Disease. Gays. Matthew 21." Gym bro said he decided to drive next to the car, roll down his window, and yell "ARE YOU MATTHEW BRO?" He said the driver got scared and switched lanes to get away. As gym bro shared that random story, I realised he was high already because I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. As soon as gym bro yelled "FUCK MATTHEW", I decided to defuse the tension by saying yes to the weed. It worked. The gym bros cheered.

By the time I returned to my apartment, my gf was home and I was high as fuck. She knew and she was not happy. She literally said nothing. She was totally composed. But I could sense the presence of darkness. She ignored me and eventually locked me out of our bedroom. Needless to say, my unexpected relationship with the gym bros is continuing to unexpectedly ruin my relationship with my gf.

Tl:dr Gym bro invited me for round 2. Ate steak. Got high. Got locked out of the bedroom by my gf.

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