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TIFU by talking to my boss

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TIFU A buddy of mine and I were driving to the casino in Gibralter at night, and we got lost. So I pulled into a Cepsa gas station, marched into the Mini-Mart (with my buddy behind me), and walked up to the counter, only vaguely aware of a person sitting somewhat off to my right.

I asked the guy behind the counter, “Can you tell me how to get to the casino?”

Before the guy behind the counter could say a word, the person to my right began to provide directions to the casino. And as this person started talking, my brain decided, “You know what would be funny?”

As the fellow to my right provided directions to the casino, I continued to stare directly at the guy behind the counter.

“…just continue up the hill until you see the big building with the lights; can’t miss it. It’ll be on your left. Drive around to the right to park.”

Continuing to stare at the guy behind the counter, I now released my devastatingly funny line.

“Are you a ventriloquist?” I asked the guy behind the counter.

Instead of the laughter I anticipated, all I heard was the tinkling of the bell as my buddy fled the Mini-Mart, leaving me standing there with my dick in my hand.

“Ah, crap,” I said to myself, and looked at the person to my right.

Sure enough, the person to my right was roughly three feet tall. He was sitting on a couple of cases of beer, and his feet didn’t even reach the ground. Of course.

I nodded to the little dude and walked straight out the door, where I found my buddy laughing so hard he was leaning on the car to keep from collapsing on the ground.

TL;DR: Trying to be funny, and backfiring loudly.

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