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TIFU by putting Nair somewhere it's NOT supposed to go

I'll try to stay ambiguous as possible but still tell the full story.

I (M18) have certain preferences when I do a certain thing that are a lot more fun without body hair. I mean my entire body below my head, completely hairless. As someone who previously had never shaved anything other that the face/neck, I didn't really know how to go about this. I spent all of yesterday shopping, and while I was out I decided to get new clothing and items to have said fun. Since I just turned 18, this seemed like the perfect time to finally try this since I could now go into some stores that I couldn't previously.

I also finally looked up how to shave my entire body easily, and it seemed to me that Nair was the way to go. I don't have very sensitive skin or anything, so I was certain I'd be completely safe and everything was going to be okay. When I got home from shopping, I saw on the bottle there was a notice to test about 24 hours before on a small patch of skin, just to make sure the specific user didn't have any reaction, so I did just that, sorta. About 10 hours before I tried with my whole body, I used the Nair cream on a very small part of my right leg, and it worked wonders. In like 5 minutes all of the hair was gone, and it got me extremely excited for the next morning.

So, before I showered this morning, I used the Nair cream, everywhere. I got it all over my legs, arms, and chest. Part of these "preferences" include using the cream between the cheeks, and so I did that too. Because I lathered my legs, a little bit got on my sack even though I tried to avoid that, but I didn't really care because I thought I'd just have a smooth sack. I didn't read the bottle entirely, so I didn't know you are NOT supposed to do this. The skin on your private areas is WAYYYYYYYYY too thin to be properly protected from the chemicals, making it highly prone to burns.

After a few minutes of scrolling, waiting for the cream to do its work, I wiped it off, and it was AWESOME! My legs were basically hairless and I was ecstatic. However, I started wiping the hair off near my inner thighs, and felt a burning sensation between the legs. I thought I might've gotten a little in my part, so I didn't think too much of it since I was about to shower. I had the same idea when I was wiping off my rear, but it was a lot worse over there so I quickly moved into the shower.

Once I got in the shower, hell was unleashed. My arms and legs looked, and still look, bald, but as I was washing my chest everything started to burn. It hurt like hell so I looked down, and it looked like my boys had just come off the grill. Terrified I ran out of the shower to look in the mirror at my behind, and low and behold, my asshole looked like a pimple. I quickly switched to cold water and got back in the shower to rinse quickly, but it still hurt like hell.

When I got out of the shower, I tried to dry it quickly thinking there must just be some residue of the cream on those areas, but it hurt so bad I couldn't really do anything. I kinda dried off quickly and waddled back to my room, but the burn would NOT stop. I put burn cream on those areas, but it didn't help at all, and got all over my brand clothing I mentioned earlier. This clothing was black, so I tried to rub it out but it just got worse. I haven't washed that yet, but I think it'll come out fine.

It's now the night, and it doesn't feel much better. Both my front and back look straight out of a volcano, and they burn if I touch them. I did take a shit earlier, and I couldn't really feel it, so either my nerves are messed up or the burn cream did work. Overall, I probably should just buy a better razor and learn how to shave those areas better, since there's probably tutorials, but I was too lazy this time.

TL;DR - lazy kinky boy decides to use nair instead of shaving his body, and ends up chemically burning his balls and asshole, and possibly ruins new pair of panties

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