Skip to main content

TIFU by sneezing so hard during sex that I kneed him in the stomach and ruined everything

I (24F) was with this guy I’d been seeing for a few weeks. We finally went back to his place after a couple of drinks, lights off, everything was actually going really well for once.

I’m on top, we’re both into it, and out of nowhere I feel the most violent sneeze of my life building up. I try to hold it in like my dignity depends on it.

I fail spectacularly.

I sneeze so hard that I clench, he slips out, and my knee shoots forward and nails him right in the stomach. At the exact same moment something else happened… loudly… and it echoed.

He froze underneath me. I froze on top of him. The only sounds were me still sniffling and the very obvious evidence of what just happened hanging in the air.

After a few seconds of complete silence he just whispers:

“…did you just sneeze and… do that?”

I tried to play it cool and said “maybe” in what I thought was a sexy voice. It came out sounding like a dying frog. He started laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe, which made me start laughing, which made it happen again. Quieter this time, but still very much there.

We did not finish. I got dressed in complete silence while he was still wiping tears from laughing so hard. He’s texted me “achoo” every single day since.

Still seeing him somehow.

TL;DR: Sneezed so hard during sex that I accidentally kneed him in the stomach and completely killed the mood in the most embarrassing way possible.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting called racist for not handing cash to a customer

today I (F18) fucked up by worked a long ahh shift and got put on register. I never hand money in people’s hands as customers have yelled at me for it, and i think it’s germy so I scoot it towards them as a sign of respect. this lady came in and after i did that she goes “Imma need you to do that again and put it in my hand, you did this last time too don’t you know it’s disrespectful” (meanwhile i haven’t worked register in 2 months at said job and didn’t recognize her) so i apologize, and then cuz it’s call off time i go talk to my boss about it and they all agree with me. apparently though she told my keyholder who’s a poc i was being RACIST by not touching her. so i got told i need to do better even though i didn’t do anything. she was insinuating i was a racist. idk if i should quit or what but i fucked up. TL;DR: i’m a dumbass
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by making a joke that landed horribly

I was talking to someone and thought I was being funny, but the second the words left my mouth I knew I had messed up. It was one of those jokes that sounds fine in your head and then just dies completely in real life. Nobody laughed, the mood got awkward instantly, and I could feel my face getting hot because I knew I had just made everything weird for no reason. What made it worse is that I tried to recover from it instead of just shutting up. So then I started talking more, which only made it more obvious that I was panicking. You know that feeling when you can hear yourself getting worse while it’s happening and you still can’t stop? yeah, that was me. I kept trying to act normal, but the whole thing was already gone. After that I just wanted to disappear and pretend it never happened. I’m still thinking about it way more than I should, which somehow makes it even more embarrassing. I really should have just kept my mouth shut for once. TL;DR: I tried to be funny and the joke...
Post a Comment
Read more