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TIFU I ate an entire container of pickles and really regretted it

Let me just say, if you currently eat any brand of pickles that isn't grillo's, and you switch to grillo's, lock them mfers up the first time because the amount of EUPHORIA you will get from eating them is genuinely harmful and will come with severe consequences.

I've always been a pickle person, I grew up on Mt. Olive and those vlasic mini kosher which does the job, nothing more to say about it. My roommate has been buying grillo's dill spears for a few months and eats them straight out of the jar at like 11pm with the fridge door open. I thought that was a little much. I just hadn't tried one yet because I didn't think pickles could really get that much better, and grillos looked odd and pale without yellow dye(can you tell I'm American) yes I know I'm stupid. I stand highly corrected that color ≠ quality

Two days ago I gave in and bought my own tub of spears. Ate the whole container standing over the sink, while my roommate watched from the couch just smiling like the green goblin.

They're good. Very crunchy. I felt great about it. Told my roommate these might be the best pickles I've ever had.

About two hours later my stomach started making fucking awful noises. An hour after that I was on the bathroom floor throwing up, and it was not a normal type of throw up, it was straight vinegar with pickle chunks still fully intact like I could put that shit back in the container. I was actually swallowing them like a snake apparently

Then the other end started erupting. I won't go into detail except to say it was spicy coming out too. I did not know that was a possibility. I do now.

I didn't really sleep. Just bathroom, bed, bathroom and by the next day I was so dehydrated I basically had a hangover, it felt like I had a brick in my head and couldn't stand up straight, light hurt my eyes. For 4 bucks on Amazon you can get all of the negative effects of alcohol!! And it's pickle flavor

TL;DR: ate a whole container of grillo's pickles in one sitting because they're really good, then threw up straight vinegar and spent the rest of the day and next morning on the toilet, dehydrated asf

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