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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by getting a condom stuck in my ex girlfriends ass

So, this happened maybe 20 or so years ago. Met this girl at work and we hit it off. Always all flirty around each other and after a little while, she invited me to her place. I went over and we started drinking and watching TV. Started fooling around and made our way to the bedroom. I was pretty plastered but at one point I asked her if she took it in the ass. I'd never banged anybody in the ass before but figured what the hell. So, I put a condom on and she proceeded to straddle me while I was laying down. I don't remember anything after that really. Apparently during, I passed the fuck out and my hard on went away. When she got off of me, because I didn't have a boner anymore the condom slid off when my johnson slid out and left the condom in her ass. Apparently she had to dig around for it and pull it out. She told me the next morning. So yeah, that was embarrassing. We were together for about 3 or 4 years afterwards.
TL:DR: Went to chicks house. Got plastered drunk. Started banging her in the ass and I passed out, thus leaving the condom in her ass to fish out.

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