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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by accidentally being topless when the DoorDash delivery guy made his delivery

Just happened.

Husband and I wanted something sweet after dinner but didn’t want to go pick anything up. Decide to order DoorDash and treat ourselves to something sweet.

We are also parents of a toddler who sometimes gets the zoomies before bedtime. Tonight he decides to race from one room to the next at full toddler speed.

An important thing to know about our son is he has a bit of reflux and asthma and these things together can sometimes cause him to throw up when he gets too worked up, or after lots of activity.

After all the running, he starts to make his gag face and proceeds to expel his dinner everywhere. I help him to the toilet so he can finish. The aftermath consists of puke on Dad, puke on kid, and puke on bathroom. I decide in this moment I should probably take off my shirt. Not for funsies, but to keep it clean.

As I work on the mess, I start to dry heave so I rush to finish. I am now topless, gagging and carrying a pile of vomit rags to the trash can when I stop dead in my tracks. A person is staring at me through our side door window. I totally forgot about the DoorDash delivery in all the craziness.

I, caught off guard, scream bloody murder, cover my chest with disgusting puke rags and run away. Meanwhile DoorDash Dude is outside knocking on the door wondering what kind of weird-ass fetish these people have to order delivery, walk around half naked then scream at them.

Eventually he calls my husband to make sure he is in the right place. The poor kid continuously apologizes to my husband for catching me topless, and holding a metric ton of vomit. My husband thinks the situation to be amusing. Me, not as much.

Sorry DoorDash Dude, I promise it was unintentional.

TL;DR : Ordered delivery. Kid exorcised his demons everywhere. Took shirt off to clean. Gave DoorDash Dude a filthy show. Delivery guy now scarred.

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