Skip to main content

TIFU by appearing to be tugging on myself in a parking lot at night and sending a woman running screaming

So I went out on a date the other day and had dinner. The date itself didn't go so well but whatever got some good food out of it. I was stuffed by the end of it. So we said our goodbyes and walking back to the parking lot, I felt my jeans a little tight on the waist. It must have been like 10pm and I was in a mall parking lot. So I get to the car and I attempt to unhook my belt to give myself some room to breathe when the belt thing gets stuck and I'm desperately pulling on the belt trying to get it to un hook and for a split second I realize how this must look to anyone around me and as I continue to jerk the belt hoping it would come loose I suck in my belly, give it one final tug and it finally unhooks. To which I respond to myself with.. "fuck yea!" and that's when I hear a woman screaming running away from me.

My heart sank to the deepest pit of hell. I panicked my ass off and without properly belting up, I jump in my car and gtfo of that parking lot so fast. Thinking I was free I relax a little when I see blue and red lights behind... FUCK... So I pull over and that's when I look down and my pants are undone. And even though I wasn't being a perv how do I even begin to explain.

Cop came over and I told him the truth exactly how it happened. And he just started laughing and let me go. Holy shit. Wtf.

TL;DR Belt got hooked and wouldn't come off even as I tugged on it and a near by human thought I was pleasuring myself and she ran off screaming.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more