Skip to main content

TIFU by brushing my teeth

This happened a couple months ago but I was just reminded about it since I opened a new tube of toothpaste after browsing Reddit.

I woke up early one say to help a coworker move. I had overslept a little and my brain was still a little foggy, which I at least partially blame this incident for. Shortly after getting up and realizing the time I went to go brush my teeth. It was then that I noticed that my tube of toothpaste was basically empty. I cursed myself for getting distracted and forgetting to go to the grocery store while I searched the drawer in my bathroom. Eureka! A brand new tube of toothpaste! I must have bought it on my last trip and forgotten to delete it off my list.

I open the box, take out the tube and put a squirt on my awaiting toothbrush. I stared at the odd, brown color for a moment, then shrugged it off before getting to business, assuming I had bought some organic brand this time. ‘Ugh!’ I thought ‘Why does all of this organic toothpaste taste like shit?’. I continued brushing my teeth and then spit the substance out in disgust. I then looked to the tube, I was sure as hell not buying that brand again.

My brain was still not fully awake as I looked to the label as I read ‘Poultry Flavor’. For a brief moment I didn’t register what was happening. ‘Who the hell makes poultry flavored toothpaste?!?’ I wondered. Then I realized my mistake. It turns out I DID remember to buy a replacement tube for some near empty toothpaste, it was just to replace my dog’s tube but not mine. The drawer for my pet’s hygiene/medical supplies is the one below mine and I put it in the wrong place.

Limited in time I washed my mouth as much as I could and I went to help my coworker with my breath reeking of morning breath mixed with low grade meat. (Thanks social distancing!) then promptly purchased a new tube. Two this time to protect my future self from myself.

A nice cherry in top is I am a vegetarian. There was no actual impact on that front but it just served to make me feel extra stupid.

TLDR: I brushed my teeth with meat because I forgot to get toothpaste and can’t put stuff in the proper drawer.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more