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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by forgetting that my body was statically charged.

So this just happened.

I'm sitting on my couch browsing reddit reading someone else's tifu post when my wife, who should be sleeping, comes out of the bedroom holding her checkbook. She goes to the kitchen counter and starts writing a check, but doesn't respond when I ask what she's doing. (It's obvious that she's writing a check for something, but why did she get up?)

Since she doesn't respond to my question, and my curiosity gets the better of me, I get off the couch to go look. This is the first part of the fu. My couch produces A LOT of static electricity when you get up. In my genius, I avoid touching anything that would shock me on my way over to her. In my stupidity, I forgot everything once I got over to her.

We've reached stage two. By using my powerful observation skills I learn what the check is for. Now that my curiosity has been satisfied, I may as well try to distract her by pulling out my dick. WRONG MOVE SHERLOCK! My wife reaches out and boops the tip of my penis with her finger and SNAP! A huge static shock happens to my member and I double over.

She laughed and apologized, but I ended up waving it off because I knew I was charged, so my fault.

Tldr: got off the couch that gives 10,000 volt static shocks and then exposed myself to my wife. She booped my dick and I died.

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