Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

TIFU by combinating shaving by balls with the wrong meal on the same day.

This happened to yesterday. I don't know how you boys keep it with shaving your balls. I for myself like my balls shaved. Even though I am single and in a sexually dry phase. I like to keep a smooth bag under my trunk. So like I do at least once a week I shaved my marbles yesterday.

Later that day cooked myself some nice chicken curry. I have that special sauce to pimp my curry. It's one of those sauces that you require only a very small spoon tip of to make your curry just spicy enough. If you take 2 spoon tips you will find yourself sobbing on the toilette at 3 am with no further sleep that night. So 1 spoon tip.

However somehow I must have gotten in contact with contact with that stuff. Meaning some of it sticked at my right hand.

After lunch I watched an episode of my new favorite show. The Peaky Blinders. Great show. But as us boys do at some point I wanted feel up my freshly shaved nuts. As you probably know shaved skin is like thousands of small open wounds. After some gentle squeezes I suddenly felt a piercing pain. And when I say piercing I really mean it. It felt like somebody pulled on my public hair just as strong that it does not get ripped out but therefore the pain was constant.

In panic I washed my hands and got ice cubes to cool down my suffering testicles. It didn't really help. So genius me of course knew that milk helps against hot food. So I took the yogurt out of the fridge and rubbed it on my family jewels. What can I say. It actually helped.

I would say the embarrassment was worth to ease the pain. The pain lasted for about another 15 minutes before it declined. It's a true story that I somewhat pimped to make it more fun to read.

tl;dr: shaved my balls, added very hot sauce to my curry, felt up my balls with sauce still on my hand, ended up lubricating my testicles with yogurt to numb the pain.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more