Skip to main content

TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

TIFU by forgetting about periods, but thunder thighs saved me

So yeah somehow after having a period for 7 years, I forgot periods knock every month and as such was not prepared (Im a dumbass I know idk how I forgot about it). I was going about my day minding my own business walkin into walmart. And then squish. I scurried to the bathroom, paranoid I had a red skid mark on my ass, hoping mother nature did not call upon the massacre that I felt it had. Sat down on the toilet and yup. Mother nature definently created a massacre and honestly that was the worst I've ever seen. Went through my jeans. They are still sitting on the sink with peroxide on them, even shout didnt work that well. However thick thighs my dude. I had a giant spot that was near the front of my jeans but the back didnt show anything (booty cover). Sometimes I hate not having a thigh gap, mainly during summer when chub rub creates its special red lighting, but this time it came in handy as my thunda thighs hid EVERYTHING. Created a makeshift pad with toilet paper, checked my ass in the mirror, and got a whole candy bag of assorted chocolate kisses because fuck it I gotta feed my thunder thighs.

TLDR: Feed your thighs chocolate they hide periods

Edit: Thank yall for all the advice on dealing with red lightning yall are awesome.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...

TIFU by fucking my coworker

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...

TIFU by shopping on Amazon

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...