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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by forgetting about periods, but thunder thighs saved me

So yeah somehow after having a period for 7 years, I forgot periods knock every month and as such was not prepared (Im a dumbass I know idk how I forgot about it). I was going about my day minding my own business walkin into walmart. And then squish. I scurried to the bathroom, paranoid I had a red skid mark on my ass, hoping mother nature did not call upon the massacre that I felt it had. Sat down on the toilet and yup. Mother nature definently created a massacre and honestly that was the worst I've ever seen. Went through my jeans. They are still sitting on the sink with peroxide on them, even shout didnt work that well. However thick thighs my dude. I had a giant spot that was near the front of my jeans but the back didnt show anything (booty cover). Sometimes I hate not having a thigh gap, mainly during summer when chub rub creates its special red lighting, but this time it came in handy as my thunda thighs hid EVERYTHING. Created a makeshift pad with toilet paper, checked my ass in the mirror, and got a whole candy bag of assorted chocolate kisses because fuck it I gotta feed my thunder thighs.

TLDR: Feed your thighs chocolate they hide periods

Edit: Thank yall for all the advice on dealing with red lightning yall are awesome.

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