TIFU by not properly utilizing my attorney and unnecessarily suffering for years

Six years ago, I contacted my attorney and informed her that my ex was abusing my parental rights. She had told me that given the proximity to the custody hearing (A year prior) that the court would most likely not entertain my case.

She informed me that my best course of action was to be as meticulous as possible, journal everything down and collect evidence.

I tried to explain how my grievances, just couldn't be within the realm of typical "custody disputes" but was met with a cautioning "Well, as tedious as this may be. You're better off having a plethora of evidence. Trust me, everyone of my clients says the same thing"

Seeing as how I have financially struggled in the last handful of years (Home foreclosure, a mountain of medical debt and just enough income to watch said mountain terraform into a range). It took me many attempts to collect the nessecary 3k for my attorney and roughly 5 years and 3 months to do so (Donating blood, selling my army stuff, my bike...etc).

Four days ago I finally sat down with her (check in hand) and this is what she said; "You put far more effort than what you needed", "You have at least 5 years worth of evidence here, the judge won't look past a year or two" and then gasping as she reads over testimony/proof "Oh my, you poor thing. Honey, what she's been doing is actually very much illegal. This is what we call Malicious Parent Syndrome. This could have been done after her first couple violations, with a simple civil petition for contempt of court"

I'm fucking devastated. I've watched my daughter change as her mother has manipulated her over the years. I sacrificed years for this case (dedicated a ridiculous amount of time because my kid deserved my absolute best effort), spent so many Sundays morbidly depressed and have been nearly defeated by the actions of my ex...just too many damn times to count. I could have been passed this years ago but now I'm just calloused, bitter and distraught. More importantly, I could have spared my daughter from this madness.

This isn't a "glass half full" type of ordeal, not unless the contents of the half had long since spoiled

TL;DR Spent the worst years of my life, building a case, that could have been solved almost immediately. This isn't the typical quirky TIFU, my apologies, just needed to say/write this out loud