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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU by asking if the carpets match the drapes

So in my first year of university, (college for my American friends) I M18 got involved physically with an friend F23. Now I am not a native English speaker and she was quite aware of this as she was very English. I speak English as a native speaker though so I should have known better.

As a prelude to us going out the one evening we were invited over to one of her friend's apartments for some pre-drinks. As I stepped though the door I had noticed that her carpet was grey and her curtains were blue. And I in my years of wisdom asked why the curtains don't match the drapes and a very shocked FWB and her friends looked at me and asked me if I knew what that meant.

I very sheepishly questioned weather or not it means literally if the carpet on the floor matches the drapes on the window. I was then subjected to several minutes of raucous laughter from her friends and quite a fun evening afterwards.

TLDR: Took a saying about hair and pubic hair colour a little too literally. But later saw that the curtains did infact match the drapes.

Edit: Spelling error

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