TIFU by convincing my anti-social dad to attend parents evening.

This didn't happen today, rather when I was 14 years old, so around 9 years ago. In Scotland there's a primary school and a secondary school and the years are P1-7 and S1-6. I was in S2. The way parents evenings work is you get given a timetable and you have to ask your teacher for a timeslot. In total I ended up with 6 meetings.

Now, my dad is something of a recluse. He is super anti-social, hates people, rarely leaves the house ect. If dad ever catches wind that someone is coming over to visit he just goes to bed. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, it could be 11am, he doesn't care. If my mum isn't at home and someone comes to the door, he just ignores them, even if they can see him through the window. I love him to pieces but he's antisocial as fuck. People always tell me my dad looks scary too. He's 6ft1, medium length hair and a massive beard, think the old man from the lighthouse but fat. He's also a little strange, he calls animals and people names as a sign of endearment. If my dad ever gives you a nickname it means he likes you. Oh and social norms? My dad doesn't know what that is. As my boyfriend puts it, "he's such a creature."

So rewind to 2012. It's the night of parents evening and I beg my dad to come too. He doesn't want to but eventually with the help of my mum he gives in. My first meeting is with my maths teacher. Everything seems to go well, my dad just sits there and doesn't say anything whilst my mum does all the talking. Next is design and technology. The D.T department is next to the reception and cafeteria and you can see the entrance from the hallway so people were coming in and out a lot. Whilst sitting outside the classroom my dad just stands up and says "I need to take a shit" and goes into the disabled toilet. 10 minutes later he comes out laughing to himself and then asks mum for the car keys. That was when the smell hit me. It smelled like there was a decomposing corpse in there and now my dad is trying to flee the crime scene. It smelled so bad that my eyes started to water. Mum just looks at him like "wtf" but hands him the keys anyway. He says he's going to wait in the car and just leaves whilst giggling his ass off.

So now I'm outside the classroom and the entire floor smells like death and it won't go away. The entrance is right across from the disabled toilets so everytime someone comes into the building they're met with the smell. People start commenting on the smell. Someone speculates if a sewer pipe burst and is leaking sewage in the toilet. A few people start coughing whilst another starts dry heaving. And I have to sit there for another 10 minutes until my appointment. Eventually someone walks to the reception and makes a complaint. The reception is behind a glass wall so the people inside hadn't been met with the smell yet. The receptionist reluctantly comes out and as soon as she opens the door I hear a "oh god" before the sound of gagging. A few moments later I see her round the corner, her shirt covering her face, whilst she begins spraying the entire hallway and entrance with febreeze. She opens up the disabled toilet and starts gagging again. From what I could make out, my dad had diarrhea and the toilet wouldn't flush, the receptionist kept trying to flush it but the water pressure wasn't strong enough to flush it all down. At this point I'm contemplating suicide and my mum is fuming.

My D.T. Teacher eventually comes to the door to call me in and when he opens the door he scrunches up his face and calls my name. I go in and sit down and my teacher is like "what happened out there, did someone let off a stink bomb?". I just sit in silence and my mum tries to change to subject. When the meeting is over I come out of the classroom and the receptionist is gone but now there's a caution cone in front of the door so people don't go in. The entrance doors had been propped open so as to air the place out. By the end of the night, mum and I go to the car where dad is waiting as soon as we get into the car my dad starts complaining that we took too long. My mum just takes a deep breath and then start going off on him about the toilet not flushing and how embarrassing it was and my dad just can't stop laughing. We drive home in silence apart from my dad just occasionally bursting into laughter.

My mum never asked him to attend a parents meeting again after that. I recently asked dad if he remembers that night and his response was to just start laughing again.

TL:DR, I asked my dad to come to parents evening. He attended one appointment before taking a massive shit in the disabled toilet that stunk out the entire floor before fleeing the crime scene. The receptionist had to spray the entire hallways with air freshener and prop the entrance doors open.