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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by getting caught slapping wife’s a** in grocery store

Come on we all do it right. And obviously it’s way more fun when you might get caught. Anyway I got a few light ones in the aisle prior. After a swift glance at my 6, I reared back for an absolute God hammer. Now before I go on, she’s never complained about the pain, in fact when she gets me back I squeal like a baby.

So I’m thinking to myself that the store is kinda busy and this is sure to fluster her for a moment before she realizes there’s nobody around. Best case scenario anyone within a 3 aisle radius will assume I dropped a large pie face down. So I send it home.

As she turns around and says my name in that tone you can hear already I see the look of horror start. Right behind me is this old lady with her mouth open like Mike Wazowski. All I could say was “sorry” with a long S so i didn’t sound quiet as embarrassed as I was. The lady says “you know you don’t have to put up with that” obviously directed at my wife.

By the time she shuffled off I was ready to laugh at it but I think it’s gonna be a while before my wife is so I’m sharing here.

TL:DR slapping booty is awkward when you get caught and will ruin your favorite grocery store game.

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