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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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Tifu by going down on a girl while having bad cat allergies.

This happened in college when I was a walking TIFU.
I was invited to pregame at a friends house before going drinking downtown. I (M 21 at the time) recently was back home in the US from Australia for a study abroad program. One of the girls from our group we will call her Amy (F23) txted that her roomate(F23) was single and we might hit it off.
I had a sober driver drop me at the house on the other side of the college town and proceeded to play drinking games with some of Amy’s friends and a few other people from our group that were invited.
She introduced me to her roomate Meghan and I was floored with how gorgeous she was. “Girl next door” looks and a very pretty smile. I could tell she was a little shy and quiet but opened up more over the next few hours. My friend pulled me aside and told me Meghan was really into me and if I was too I should stay behind with her when everyone left for the bars. At this point I was sniffling slightly and my eyes were getting itchy. I am highly allergic to cats and had seen the dreaded food bowl omen of doom in the corner. Thinking we would be going out soon I had brushed it off and tried not to sit on anything. Now I was faced with a difficult choice: leave and lose my chance to hook up with this amazingly hot girl or stay and hope it somehow wouldn’t be an issue. Another beer and Meghan’s offer to watch a movie with her sealed my fate.
The rides showed up and the gathering filed out the door and with a sly look and a wink my friend Amy closed the door behind her. As soon as we were alone Meghan walked over and demurely took my hand and pulled me to a nearby futon. I had sighted this horror earlier as the color was black and showed cat hair clearly all over the cushion. I resisted all of a second. She didn’t waste any time and a heavy make out session ensued.
Things escalated, heavy petting turned into furious dry-humping and clothing being removed. My allergies started getting bad and hiding my sniffles was becoming difficult. The redness of my eyes and face hopefully were attributed to passion and the low lighting helped. Meghan pushed me back further into the futon and began going down on me. As she was beside me performing the act she couldn’t see my face so I took this opportunity to try and mask my now clear struggles. I pulled my jacket closer and blew my nose as quietly as possible into it. I took slow deep breathes as I was beginning to wheeze and I was having trouble breathing when we were kissing. After a few minutes she came up and stripped the rest of her clothes off. Thinking I now had a handle on it I decided to return the favor and worked my way down. Once I was there I realized my mistake, but it was too late. The amount of cat hair on the cushion under her was so thick I felt them tickling my chin. My allergies intensified. I realized I was complete screwed after about 10 seconds. I had to sneeze. I became a zen master and fought it with everything I had. She was moaning and her hips undulating further spreading cat dander into the exposed parts of my face. I turned my head and sneezed into her thigh. She froze but I dove back in like nothing happened. And she began to get back into it.

I sneezed directly into her pussy.

She tensed up and grabbed my head. She raised it up and got a clear look in the light. Snot and tears were running down my face, I could barely see out of my red puffy eyes. “Sorry I’m allergic to cats!” I blurted nasally. “It’s not you it’s the cats! You’re perfect I swear!” She didn’t believe me. Quickly pulling on her clothes she told me leave and at this point I was so sick moving on would have been impossible. I left apologizing profusely I began blearily walking across town sneezing back to my place.
The next day I called Amy and explained what happened. She laughed uproariously at how embarrassing it apparently was for me and told me not to expect Meghan to call me back…. She didn’t.

TL:Dr Went down on a girl while having bad allergies to cats and sneezed in her pussy. Didn’t get a second date.

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