greenmangostudio

I M17, plastered a massive one square meter schlong onto my brothers wall today. For revenge. Last week I woke up from a nice, calming dream and opened my eyes to see an A4 peice of paper taped on my roof that said “Fck you.” directly above my head. there was no reason behind it. When I confronted my brother about it his reasoning was that he was bored. I thought it ended at that, so I got my brother back by putting saran wrap around his door and I made paper chains with little insults written on each loop and I taped that to his roof. He simply laughed and asked if I “found them yet?” I was confused what he meant by that but he wouldn’t say anything else so I left it at that. A few days later. At 12:00 at night, a poster from my wall falls to the ground, and behind the poster is a note tapped to my wall. (Crazy coincidence, it’s like my bedroom purposefully uncovered the note) The note had “tickle my urethra.” Written on it. I then decided to check behind a poster next to it to see ...

(This was a while ago. And doesn’t register in the list of traumas in my life. I see it as funny at this point) I do an NYC trip with some friends. Great time. Im on my way home with a flight out of JFK. I have some time before the flight so I go to the bar near my terminal and end up meeting these girls who have the same flight. They’re super chill. I have one drink and it’s noticeably strong, but still just one cocktail. Cut to, suddenly I’m on the plane. I don’t have several hours of memory. I slowly piece together that I’m not in my correct seat and we’re hours into a flight. I’m sitting by this lady who seems chill and i try to ask questions to piece things together without making myself seem like idk wtf is going on. One of the questions being “this flight is to my ‘intended destination’, yes?” lol. I had gotten one of the girls numbers so I text them asking if they saw me walk on with my luggage. They confirm yes. The craziest part… my pants are wet. I can tell it’s from t...

So i am an international student in an eurpoean country I am visiting another Eu country to see my cousins. I put my residency permit over my passport with my phone that has the boarding pass to the side. Then the security agent told me something dreadful. My residency permit is not with him I told him I am sure it's with him several times while getting shaken up gradually, untill he told me to take my passport and go search for it elsewhere by then I sank to the floor searching in my bag. For context I am an international student and my school is also 15 days from starting and also I am Iraqi so I will be screwed in the airport. Finally he told me to give him back my passport, he had found it on his desk my heart neatly fell. My mom later called and told me to not panic like this anymore, but how can I. My uni starts in two weeks and frankly I don't have the time nor the patience to get another student residency permit. TL;DR don't give all of your documents at th...

Last weekend we went to a music festival. I went right from work, and I was wearing jeans. It was hot and muggy and I was “basting in my own gravy”. Fast forward to Sunday night around midnight. I’m heading upstairs, bleary eyed and tired, and my nether regions are starting to itch. I grab the antifungal from my bathroom bag as a precaution and begin to spread it all over my man-parts. A few seconds in, it starts to burn. Then the smell hits me… something minty fresh. I look down at the tube on the sink and its… toothpaste! As I look up, the 4’x5’ mirror over the vanity reflects my shame. I’m standing in the bathroom, naked, at midnight, with Colgate spread all over my nether regions TL;DR: Grabbed toothpaste instead of antifungal cream, slathered Colgate all over my genitals

My family has been clearing out my grandma's house and we found a box of old cassette tapes. Most were unlabeled, but one had my grandparents' wedding date written on it. I offered to digitize everything and borrowed an old dual cassette deck from a friend since he had one sitting around. Before transferring anything to my computer, I figured I should make a physical backup of the important tape first, just in case something went wrong. I put a blank cassette in Deck 1 and the wedding tape in Deck 2. For some reason I had convinced myself Deck 2 was the source. It wasn't. I hit the dubbing button and walked away. About 25 minutes later I came back and realized Deck 2 was the recording deck. I'd been recording the blank cassette over the original wedding tape. That section apparently had my grandfather giving a speech and my grandma's dad talking. Both of them have been gone for years. My mom isn't angry, which somehow makes it worse. She just got q...

I work at a crafts store, and we started selling foam carvable pumpkins. Recently, I returned one of these pumpkins because the customer noticed it had a dent in it. Since it was considered unsellable, my manager let me keep it. I turned the pumpkin into a candy bowl that hangs on the door (you could probably find what I’m talking about if you google it), and I hung it on the door. My RA is a bit strict about these things, so I brought her to come check it out and she told me it was fine. I had been filling it with wrapped fun-size candy for the past couple of days, and there were no issues. Recently, I put in Peanut M&M’s, and I received a knock on my door later that day. It was my RA, and she told me that I was seriously endangering students who have peanut allergies. I apologized and told her that I’d take it down immediately, but she told me that this was considered a violation and she wrote a formal incident report. I haven’t heard anything back yet. TL;DR: I received an...

I had way too much vacation time saved up, so I decided to take a week off of work. The Friday before my days off was really hectic and busy as I rushed through all of my work so I could leave as soon as possible. In my haste, I left a small amount of coffee and milk in my coffee mug on my desk. I didn't notice before I locked my office and left. That was on September 18th. Today I get to work at 4:30 in the morning and all I can think about is making my cup of coffee. Upon opening my door I am hit with a wall of stank. I think to myself, "I'm not dealing with that until I've had my morning coffee." Also, "Hehe, that's a problem for future me." Upon grabbing my coffee mug, I realized that the future was now and I am, in fact, dealing with it before I've had my morning coffee. Introducing drum roll Maggot Cup! I didn't like Maggot Cup when I first met it. Which I suppose is somewhat sad since I am it's maker. I look in horror upon ...

So I've been going to this sweet Thai masseuse since 2021. She's somewhere between 60 and 70-years-old. Honestly, she's getting a bit frail and her wrists are clicking at times and the massages aren't what they used to be, but I didn't have the heart to change her. She and her husband give me that grandparent-y feel while I'm there. I buy massages in advance using a loyalty card and we always have a fun little argument because I offer to pay more. Sigh, all this makes it so much worse. I don't know if naked massages are even a normal thing, but I've I've worn underwear for every massage. I've also gone to other masseuses before her and always wore underwear. I was pretty much clear on that. Underwear stays on. Recently I've been sleeping without clothes on because why not? It feels better. I think it helps with blood circulation or something and I live alone. I'm getting used to taking it all off and lying down on my bed. Been doin...

So yeah this happened last night and I still feel kind of big back af Context, im 19 and live up in Shamattawa with my gf (18). If you know anything about the north, grocery hauls are a big deal because everything is expensive and hard to get. My gf had this specific tub of Betty cream cheese icing jar with the red lid she was saving to bake a cake for her sisters birthday next week. Anyway she went to her aunties for a quick visit so I was just chilling at my PC playing Mortal kombat i got a suddenly urge to eat sugar lmao, went looking for a snack and found the icing. Thought honestly ill just take like one scoop she wont even see. Bro I dont even know what happened. Every time the loading screen popped up I took another scoop By the time I lost a match I looked down and the whole damn tub was empty. 16 ounces of straight sugar just gone. Like 20 mins later my stomach started hurting so bad. Felt like a literal tsunami wave sittin my gut. Right when I heard her walk thru ...

Never felt older in my life. Me (late 20sF) and my two friends J and A (30sF) were talking in our group chat about Halloween plans. We go to this event every year, and the tickets just released. J pointed out prices increased quite a bit this year. I responded and said I haven’t even figured out what I’m going to be. And I ended that message with “Sybau.” Now, I consider myself to be chronically online. I pride myself on being on top of the latest references, pop culture trends, etc. And as the youngest in our trio, it usually falls on me to explain some of the younger references to my friends. Not in this case. Guys, the entire time I’ve seen this word, the hundreds of comments I’ve seen using it, I’ve always thought it was a made up word. Like skibidi. Just gibberish that meant “boohoo” or something along those lines. And I said it in my message directing it at myself. Like, “I haven’t even figured out what I’m going to be. Boohoo. Woe is me.” For context, J and I just ha...

A guy approached me on the street today talking very fast and gesturing at something. My brain completely shut down so instead of saying "I don't understand" I just went into default customer service mode: intense eye contact, polite smiles, nodding and dropping a confident "Yeah exactly absolutely". We stood there for a full two minutes having a completely one-sided highly emotional exchange where I was aggressively validating statements I couldn't comprehend. Right as he shook my hand and walked away looking deeply moved I realized he was speaking a language I don't even share a single root word with. I just stood there on the pavement staring at my hand wondering what profound life agreement I just unwittingly signed. TL;DR: Pretended to understand a tourist speaking a foreign language by nodding and agreeing for two minutes and now I have no idea what I committed to.

First time posting here so here goes. Over the past few months I've been trying to bulk up more. I don't have a huge appetite so I've been researching small ways to increase my calorie consumption in ways that I could tolerate it. Some of these small hacks included adding condiments and sides to meals, having dense snacks throughout the day, or replacing water with juices or smoothies. The last one produced this wonderful story. I'd gone grocery store shopping to pick up my protein powder, frozen fruits, and juice, yes, apple juice specifically. Anyway, one day work I came home feeling so thirsty. It was a hot day in the middle of summer which didnt help. Got dinner ready, and as I was taking a glass out of the cabinet, I thought to myself "you know what, this would be a good time to do what the internet recommended" Put my water pitcher back in the fridge and got out the apple juice. Ended up drinking 4, maybe 5 good-sized glasses of juice and felt pr...

As the title says. I'm going out of town for the night, and was throwing a bag of cat litter away into my apartments dumpster before I left. It was heavy, and the dumpster lip is high. I was wearing my keys on a lanyard around my neck because I don't have pockets. The bag is too heavy for me to lift above my head, so I always get some momentum going by swinging and tossing it in. Well, today the bag somehow caught some of my keys, and I think the ring that was holding my car key, my apartment key, and mailbox key broke. I felt it catch my lanyard, but the momentum was already in full swing. It was too late to stop. As I finished the toss, I saw a few small objects go flying into the trash. Immediately checked my lanyard, and sure enough. My work keys are still there thankfully. We don't have a maintenance line to call at my building (only email or paperwork at the office) so I called the office building. It was closed because its Sunday, but I decided to connect to the ...

Hi Reddit For begin i am a french student with Autism Spectrum Disorder so i apologie if i dont speak english correctly. I wanted to talk about a controversial practice I engaged in: using a voice recorder to capture classes, discussions, and conversations, and what that experience was like for me. First of all, I am aware that this practice is illegal something I realized only later. It all started during my final year of middle school and the transition to high school. A naughty friend told me about the possibility of recording things, but I didn't pay much attention to it at the time. It wasn't until I entered my three last years year of high school after being held back a year due to academic struggles that I really dove into it. As an adolescent growing and hot-headead, I found pleasure in recording everything I heard to fill a void of loneliness. I was caught several times and told that it was strictly forbidden; these difficult incidents only reinforced my ad...

This actually happened on Thursday but I’m still dealing with the aftermath today. I had to go in for a root canal. Everything went great there. Afterward practically the entire left side of my face was numb. I have pretty bad unmedicated ADHD and one of the things I do to keep focus is bite or chew the inside of my cheek or lips. I was absentmindedly doing this for a couple hours while my face was numb. I knew it bled a couple times but I didn’t realize just how much I had bit off. I am part of the other 90+% of people that get canker sores so now I just have this massive canker sore right inside my mouth. It stings. I hope it goes away within the next couple days. Tl;dr: had some dental work done, face was numbed, bit big piece of the inside of my mouth now dealing with giant canker sore for the last 3 days. Anyways, I hope yall enjoyed reading about my mess up. Have a great Sunday!

I've been at this company for a couple of months, and in that time I have been made project manager of two high profile clients' projects. My boss and boss's boss told me they agreed I was the best person of the group to handle this role, and I've been dedicated to giving it my all. So dedicated, in fact, that Outlook has become 8 of my 12 tabs on my phone. So this Saturday, when I wanted to verify "did the supreme court allow trump to use the save act?" And thought I was typing into my already open chatgpt thread, it actually ended up being my Outlook account, and I accidentally replied to ALL of the client's big wigs on an email trail regarding very high level engineering questions..by simply hitting what I thought was the enter button. Of course my boss, and boss's boss were on the trail too. I panicked and sent an apology email, then tried unsending my search query But Outlook can't unsend from people in outside organizations So 15 ...

TL:DR So basically, it all started when I broke my sister’s squishy and cut her hair and I started to get mad at her for no reason and I kicked her and I thought she was actually injured and I was making fun of her so I was going to call my friend to show my sister crying but I was supposed to use WhatsApp and one of my friends had three of the numbers 911 so I used the phone app and called 911 on accident but I told them the truth about I was supposed to call my friend and I was watching TV that time and they thought it was another person so I told them the truth that it was the TV and my sister is panicking right now so are they coming to my house? I messed up so bad I don’t know what to do now. Idk what to tell my mom about it and my dad is not home I’m in shock rn… I’m cooked im so fcked..

That was two months ago but the consequences just arrived today. Let's start with why I lied to her, what I am about to tell you is something I am very ashamed and insecure about so keep that in mind, I am from Sudan wasn't born there but that doesn't matter I live here now and that country has endless list of problems including war, an actual war that's been going for 4 years. I don't want to get into it further but before the war there were serious protests and hundreds of people were gunned down like open season, and before that there was COVID. So long story short everything in my life have been frozen and paused for over half a decade, it makes gives me anxiety thinking about it gives an actual panic attack thinking about how many years of my gone to nothing. Sorry for the long intro I just wanted to explain why did i lie to her, not just her I lie to everyone about my age, I lie to friends, random Redditors, I lie to my uncle who forgot how old I am, b...

I (15M) started a commission 2 days ago, and they sent me a finished version but it wasn't what I had asked for. They started to redraw it and later that day I was told they got into a car accident and were at the hospital. They later said that they got out with stitches and a cast and would finish it tomorrow (yesterday) and so that was that. There were no messages yesterday nor a finished piece, so I filed a dispute with Cash App. I told someone that I filed it, because it had been over a day, and I also looked up and found out what they sent me were supposedly scam tactics, I also reverse searched and it said it was ai and then later it said it was a base. The person I told contacted the artist because they asked for their username from me and I did not realize, the artist refunded me and told me they dont want to work with me again as they had reports of me reporting them to cash app and accusing them of ai, they also sent evidence to the person who dm'd them. The person th...

TIFU by letting Siri brainwash me into a country music fan Every single time I try to catch up on my messages, the exact same tragedy unfolds: Me: "Siri, play my texts." Siri (with zero hesitation): "Playing Choosin' Texas by Ella Langley." Me: "NO, Siri, stop! Play my TEXTS. T-E-X-T-S!" Siri: 🎵 Choosin' Texas... 🎵 I don't even like country music. Or at least, I didn't . But after getting into a screaming match with a virtual assistant a dozen times a day, something snapped. I tried enunciating. I tried doing a crisp, theatrical British accent. I tried whispering it directly into the microphone like a secret agent. Doesn't matter. Siri is relentless. She has one mission, and that mission is Ella Langley. At this point, I think Siri is actually getting paid under the table by Nashville executives. It’s a psychological operation, and it worked. Last night, Choosin' Texas played for the 14th time against my will, and i...

This happened back in middle school, but it was suggested that I post this here. Basically for as long as I can remember I was an extreme goody two shoes. To a stupid degree really. I hated getting in trouble but also really hated being late to things and tended to have tunnel vision when it came to my routine thanks to my at the time undiagnosed autism. This particular day I walked to school as I always did only to find my usual path was blocked. By what you may ask? Police tape, complete with cops and cop cars. No biggie. I lived in a big city, that was pretty common. I’d just go a few streets over and go around. I always left plenty of time to get to school and arrive early so I was in absolutely no rush. Only my plan didn’t work out that way. Why? Because when I tried to go around I only found more police tape. So I tried again. And again. Everywhere I went was more police tape and more policemen. Now a smart person might have talked to the cops and asked what was going on or...

Today I fucked up by lying to my roommate who is also my best friend about me finding an apartment to rent. I (23F) and my roommate (23F) have been living in the same room for almost a whole year. Until today we had never EVER had any problems and she had become one of my closest friends. We were both actively trying to find ourselves apartments to move out to so we wouldn’t have to have any roommates at all (we currently live in a three bedroom apartment as 6 roommates) so me finding an apartment wasn’t the problem. The problem began when my DUMB ASS got an appointment to check out this apartment (which had previously been suggested to my roommate around two months ago and she’d immediately told me about it and that she was interested but she never got an answer). So I went to check out the place but I never told her I got an appointment for the same apartment. Me and another girl were invited over to check it out and one of us was supposed to be chosen to move in and the owner s...

This happened a few weeks ago and still has lasting effects... It was Sunday morning, the day we would celebrate 18 years of marriage. I woke up next to my sleeping wife. The sunlight shone through the curtains. She really looked beautiful. I quietly took a few pictures. I went downstairs, put up a few decorations and looked at the pictures again. The soft morning light, the colours of our bedsheets... it really made a very romantic picture. No sign of nudity either. She wears a sleeping mask, a night gown, just a bit of decent cleavage... Anyway... I felt compelled to post it (friends only) on FB with a lovely little text on our wedding anniversary. Believe it or not: I even checked with an AI if the picture was decent enough to post... Then I left to do some shopping. Not 20 minutes later, I got a phone call from my daughter telling me my wife was in tears and to immediately remove the picture... Which I did, of course. So the TIFU: the rest of the day wasn't romanti...

Ok so obligatory TIFU this didn’t happen today but around 20 years ago. I brought into work a VHS of a few episodes of “Devil Man” anime I had recorded from the TV to borrow to one of my work friends, he watched it and brought it back in. As he passed it to me someone saw the VHS and asked what it was and my friend said yea it was good so he asked to borrow it and brought it in a few days later, it went through a few workmates like that, maybe 5/6 maybe more people who mostly just said yea that was good and passed it back without incident. I took it home, didn’t do anything with it and then my nephew came with my mother in law, I put the anime on and bam, the TV was lit up with instant hardcore porn, some chick getting absolutely railed by at least one guy. I had no idea where it was coming from, I froze, it felt like everyone did, just staring at the TV with some chick wailing whilst getting brutally fucked, it took way too long for me to just simply switch off the TV before a...

So let me set the scene. It's early morning and I'm making breakfast in the kitchen for my toddler, making lunches for my older kids to take school, the pets are running around, my teenage daughter is teenage daughtering (iykyk) and life be lifing. It's the usual morning chaos happening and I get a text message from my partner. I'm busy so I just skim over it and look for important keys words. I read "Nana passed away this morning. I'll fly straigh out from work at the end of the week to the funeral." So naturally, I'm like, oh my gosh, his Nana has passed away. I immediately spend about 10 minutes writing him a loving condolence message, letting him know I'll be there to support him, that I love him, all the usual heartfelt stuff. Then I think, I better message my father-in-law. So another lovely condolence message. Lots of love, lots of support. Very sincere. Then I message my entire familyincluding my teeangers who have since left to go ...

Soo I work with a brand and we frequently do collabs with influencers and creators. They go live with our products and we hook them up with exclusive discounts that only work during their live stream. A few days ago, we had this new creator doing her first live with our brand. I set everything up ahead of time. She's in a different timezone so when her live kicked off, she announced the discounts... and when people started adding stuff to their carts, the discounts just didn't apply. She messaged me but I wasn't around. I didn't see it until the next day. Some people from her audience reported her for deceptive pricing and the platform tanked her visibility for a few weeks. How my seniors compensated her is a whole other story. Then next day, we had another exclusive live with a creator who's a big name in her niche. Like, she has several hundred thousand followers. Same exact thing happened. She announced the discounts, they didn't work. Luckily I was online ...

So, yeah... I fucked up. I m a teacher in a middle school and today, I had Year 9 pupils. I don't know how to say it otherwise, I am french, we don't have same school system. But my students are 14 - 15 years old. It was the last hour of the day, I was very very tired , it was a long day. The class that I had for the last hour is infamous because of their behavior. Normally, I m pretty good at taking care of them but today... Well ... They discovered the sex educational books of the school library and they were very excited. So we talked about it and everything was great. I advice them about things, I answers their questions... In short, I was doing a great job imo. But at the last 10 minutes, I was telling them that, if they had more questions, they shouldn't hesitate to ask them at adults like teachers, nurses or... Their parents. I wanted them to feel safe and to NOT take exemple on porn. That when some of my students laughed very hard and said " my parents ...

I was sitting in my car in a place with spotty cell service. The biggest horse(?) fly I've ever seen landed on the window of the driver's side door. I took a picture of it to send my best friend, as one does. I sent it in a text along with the words, "This dude is holding me hostage in my car". Well, my text went through somehow, but the photo just kept unsuccessfully trying to send. My alarming text, without the photo for context, prompts my friend to start rapid fire calling me to see if I'm ok. Every time I tried to pick up, the call dropped due to weak signal. All she could hear was a second of my muffled voice and then the call ending. I was able to drive to an area with service so I could call her to explain. I caught her just in time to stop her from getting in her car to come save me from what she thought was my kidnapping. TL;DR sent bff a pic of a giant bug on my window, along with a lighthearted text that it was "holding me hostage'. Friend g...

Yesterday we had a team call and my manager was sharing his screen. He minimized a window and his Outlook calendar showed for two seconds. I saw an appointment for the next morning with HR and Chris's name in it. The title was cut off, but I could see the word “exit.” Chris is a guy on my team. I assumed he was either quitting or getting fired. After the call I mentioned it to one coworker I'm close with. She told someone else, and by the next morning several people thought Chris was leaving. Chris came into work like normal. He asked me why everyone was acting weird around him and I said, “I thought you already knew about the HR thing.” His face changed. He had no idea what I was talking about. Now he thought he was about to get fired. He started asking what I saw, whether I'd heard anything from management, and why HR wanted to meet with him. We found out someone else on the team was leaving and Chris was taking over part of their work. The meeting was...

For some context, I work in a kind of obscure National Account Sales Management type of role. I have a short list of clients that I've worked with for several years where a lot of my conversations are pretty informal. This morning, one of my long-term clients threw a meeting on my calendar at 7:15am last night, and I start at 7 am. I usually do admin stuff until about 8 and it takes me a little bit to get up and running. I was in absolute cruise control this morning. The specific person who I was meeting with is named Amelia and I've met her numerous times over the past several years, and she is close in age to me. My wife's name is Emilia , and she will regularly call me around 7:20-7:30 before she goes into work. My conversation was very short, and she just had a quick question. When talking with Amelia, the call was less than three minutes where she just asked me to send her something, and I ended it with "Okay, sounds good... Love you"! She responded wi...

A few months ago I sold an old desk on marketplace because I was clearing out a bunch of furniture. Figured I might as well sell stuff I wasn't using instead of throwing it away. Guy came to my house, looked at the desk, paid me, and we carried it out to his truck. Completely normal interaction. Today I randomly remembered something that made my stomach drop. A long time ago I taped a spare key to my house underneath that desk. Not as a lockout key or anything, it was literally just where I decided to hide the spare because I didn't want it sitting in an obvious drawer. Eventually I completely forgot it was there. So I sold a stranger a desk with a key to my house attached to the bottom of it. And he picked the desk up from my house, so he knows exactly which door the key opens. Nothing has happened this whole time, which I'm very thankful for, but I'm getting my locks changed now because there's no way I'm taking any chances after remembering this...

I (22 M) share an apartment with my mother where we split rent and utilities, so we’re obviously both adults. And I absolutely should have known better, but i wasn’t really thinking. For context, I work a warehouse job that should be 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, but due to understaffing, we’ve been working 10 hours a day, almost every day, for basically as long as I’ve worked there, and my drive is just under an hour both ways. Sometimes more on the ride home if there’s traffic. Because of this, I often get home super late, and with not much time or energy to do much of anything. ESPECIALLY cooking. This is relevant. About a week ago, was set to drive out of state to see my girlfriend (we’re long distance) after my shift at work. Now, I LOVE seafood. Most of all, shrimp. It’s always been one of my favorite foods, but I didn’t get to eat it all that much growing up since my mom has hated seafood basically for as long as I’ve been alive. With me now having grown into an adult who ...

I worked a double bartending last night and forgot to put away some juices (lemon, lime, and OJ). This is totally my bad and unlike me. Usually I’ve been praised by management for being one of the more cleanly bartenders, often using my free time to clean up after my coworkers. I didn’t realize I left them out, so I was surprised when my boss sent a text in the coworkers group chat with a picture of the juice left out saying that they need people to cooperate with putting things away and that it’s costing my boss money and attracting flies. I felt really bad, although I would like to note that we have flies even when things aren’t left out. There are sinks behind the bar and my coworkers use it to dump out drinks, but they don’t clean them. So the fruit flies end up casing the sink and by the time I get there in the mornings I get swarmed by them. This prompts me to deep clean the sinks at the beginning of every shift because it’s gross. Additionally, I think I’m the only employee that...

So for some context, I'm Australian and work for one of a few big tech retailers here in Australia. The iPhone 18 pro and pro max launch has been busy for us, but nothing bad. I'm mainly on the counter transacring sales, not selling items. I've been with the company 3 years now and haven't majorly fucked up. Yet. Come into work this morning and my managers are investigating a variance for one of said brand new phones that popped up yesterday. To transact a sale we have to load it up from a list, or scan it from a docket that's been printed off with the sale details. Lately people haven't been printing them, but we can just load the salw up so it's okay. I sold a $2000 + iPhone as $1412 worth of smart lightbulbs because I loaded the wrong sale and didn't realise. Management were much more chill about it than I'd thought they'd be and we've fixed the docket but still, I feel awful. TL;DR: I suck at reading and some guy got a brand new iPh...

Okay so I, 30 F, was told almost 3 years ago that I most likely wouldn’t be able to get pregnant due to PCOS. Turns out that wasn’t true and 8 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I had an abortion and moved on with my life, but since then I’ve had increasingly more risky sex. Part of me thought it was just a flook because like what the hell, my doctor was so sure??? So after 2+ years of letting guys cum in me and not getting pregnant, not like a lot…I’m not a slut, it’s happened again. My fucked up brain is like, “phew okay great now I know I can in fact get pregnant so enough of that.” I feel like subconsciously I’ve been trying to get pregnant again this entire time even though I 100000% don’t want/am not ready to have a baby. I also told this guy that I was on BC even though I’m not so really I can only be mad at myself…TL;DR: Now I have to make an appointment

I was maybe 13 or 14 and my grandmother got me dynasty warriors 8 empires I loved it i played it a lot so for my bd my grandmother got me a whole bunch of other dynasty warriors games and blade something nightmare, I straight up said I already have those games I don't want them and had her return them, sure I was a kid but I still feel like shit about it because I know now I would've loved them and I spit in her face and made her return my gifts she says she doesn't mind nowadays but I still feel horrible it was a really good gift and I treated her like shit. Also the time my grandfather came to pick me up from school and I chose to play with my friends and didn't tell him and he was sitting there hour half an hour or more worried and waiting for me Now it's all eating at me the guilt and my days off are now ruined TL;DR: I made my grandmother return bd gifts as a kid i just remembered doing it and my whole day is ruined because I can't stop thinking about...

I am a transmasc, and have a transmasc flag as my whatsapp pfp. I go to a girl's school, and uhh I forgot to change the pfp, because ya know, i'm kinda forgetful. People started to catch on about my pfp, and realized that im trans. so now there are two camps: one camp think sthat i was born with a penis and then chopped it off, another thinks that i got a penis surgically attached to me. The rumour spread like wildfire, and I didn't catch on until it was way too late. Couldn't hide the rumours anymore. By monday, the school will have caught on, and they'll definitely tell my parents. This would be fine if i 1) didn't go to a girls school and 2) didnt have transphobic parents... oh well isnt ny luck ROTTEN!!! TL;DR: people found out that i am transmasc, rumour spreading like wildfire, and my family is gonna find out.

I had stopped drinking alcohol for a while, but yesterday was my best friend Sam's (fake name) birthday. Since it was his birthday, a bunch of us went over to his place to celebrate. Sam's dad left him and his mom about six years ago, so it's just been the two of them since then. After around four months of not drinking, I decided to have a few drinks because Sam insisted. The problem was, Sam gave me way more alcohol than I should've had, and he was pretty drunk himself. Everyone was drinking, and eventually people started leaving until it was just me and Sam. We started talking about random stuff, and eventually he told me that his mom was thinking about getting married again. Sam wasn't okay with it. While we were talking about it, I stupidly said something like, "Honestly, I think your mom should get married again. She probably needs someone too." Then, because I was extremely drunk and apparently had completely lost my filter, I told him tha...

I try to be very careful about how I phrase things, because I want to avoid confusion. But when comic timing is on the line, that goes out the window. In this particular case I wish I had taken the time to choose my words more carefully, because I somehow found the most awkward phrasing imaginable. I was at a work function. It was a conference, where a many of the bigwigs in my industry congregate from across the state every year to learn about what changes are coming down the pipe. For the story, I was specifically at the social event the evening before the conference. In past years I haven't attended the social. I'm not a super extraverted person. But after a recent promotion I'm at least a mediumwig myself, so it was more of an obligation this year. There was also alcohol present, but I can't blame it for this one-- I'm not much of a drinker so I was only about 3/4 of a beer deep after a few hours of mingling. Anyway, I was floating around the room rubbing ...

I work in a restaurant that requires a lot of running around, and this summer has been SO HOT, so I occasionally wear some spandexy bike shorts when I know it’ll be uncomfortable wearing full pants. They are mid thigh length, normal bike shorts with pockets that I got for like $15 online. They’re super comfy, yay. Today I flew out of PHL and when I was going through the body scanner, they had me take my shoes off and go back through. This time, the male TSA officer says “she’ll see you over there.” I walk over to the female officer and she says, “okay your shoes are off and it’s still alerting us…in your crotch and bottom area.” I turn around to look at their screen - my crotch and crack were lit up bright red and nothing else was. She asks if I want to go to a private area or just do it there. I initially said private, she hesitated while checking to see if there was a spot available, so I said “it’s cool just do it here” because I just wanted it to be over with. Then I get back-o...

So I(36 F) work at a school transportation department as a driver. This means I use company cars to get kids to and from school (as they can't get ride along bus for whatever reason). The company vehicle gets serviced every set number of miles or if something comes up. Very nice, but can be annoying as I have to park elsewhere and therefore am stuck at the place if the vehicle needs work/breaks down. I took the van i drive into their mechanic shop and knew it was going to be a long time (special extra battery for safety auto stop/start system, to be more exo friendly.*EDITED FOR CLARITY). At least a few hours to do the work. I am NOT a morning person but love kids, so i do my best to be awake at crack of dawn. While waiting I check to see if I can get a coffee to stay awake. Nope. Knowing they have my number, I decide to take advantage of the nice weather (70s with a decent breeze and solid shade) just outside. Mechanic is amused and agrees to let me know. So I go outside, si...

I came out of a store and walked toward what I thought was my car. Same color, parked where I remembered leaving it. I pressed the unlock button. Nothing. I pressed it again, then tried the door handle. Then I looked through the window. There was a kid in the back seat staring directly at me. I froze and looked toward the driver’s seat. A dad was staring at me like I was trying to steal his family. I realized it wasn’t my car. He rolled down the window and I said, “shoot, I’m so sorry. I thought this was my car.” He started laughing and said, “I was wondering what you were doing. You were fighting with that door forever.” We both started laughing like crazy. My actual car was two spaces away. Same color & model. “TL;DR” what a great way to start off the weekend!

I teach at a specialized school for students with emotional and mental disabilities. At this school, students' birthdays are celebrated with great importance and reverence. Yesterday, I spent the entire day rushing to gather signatures for a birthday card we had created for one of our students. The card was a single sheet of paper featuring his favorite kaiju character, and the entire staff had planned to sign it and present it to him. I tirelessly moved around the school to collect all the signatures in time for today’s celebration. Once it was complete, I placed the card in the laminator to protect it from damage. However, when I retrieved it, I was devastated to find that all the signatures and heartfelt notes had vanished. I soon realized I had used an erasable pen, which another teacher had kindly lent me so everyone could write their personal messages. Unfortunately, the laminator's heat caused the ink to disappear completely, erasing all the thoughtful comments and signa...

I’m a manager at a tech company, currently recruiting for my team. For those not in the know, recruiting is a miserable process. Trust me, we hate this end of the process almost as much as you do. I must’ve interviewed over 3 dozen candidates at this point, most of which fell apart in the technical interview, and those that didn’t wound up withdrawing due to offers that came in before my talent team sent them a letter. Anyway, I interviewed a candidate yesterday along with my lead developer, and my director. She did very well, very minor reservations about her personality given the position she was going for but we liked her a lot. We were pinging each other in the background, discussing ways to challenge her, commenting on her performance in the interview, yada yada yada. After we were done and said goodbye to our candidate, I called the two of them to discuss the interview. And me, being “funny” opened the call with “THAT’S OUR HITLER!” In my best Nathan Lane impression. My lead de...

This happened a few weeks ago, but I still claim the right to post about it. Context: I just started college. I’m in a new state, I don’t know anyone here. I live in a dorm room by myself. I was supposed to have a roommate, but when we were texting beforehand, I told her that I was a transgender woman, and she ghosted me and didn’t show up. One side of the room has all my stuff, the other has an empty mattress, an empty closet, empty dressers, and an empty desk. I also, for some reason, brought four sets of bedsheets. I quickly realized why I wouldn’t need that many, so I just have a lot to spare. The event: One day, a few people who live on my floor knocked at my door asking if I had a spare air mattress that they could borrow. I don’t have one, but there is an entire unused mattress in my dorm room, so I said they could take it. On their way out, I also gave them a set of bedsheets. It was a completely unused set of purple sheets, folded up in my drawer, and I handed it over. ...

So I (25f) started in August a new job in an area that's new to me(logistics), I have no relevant experience with the magnitude that y new job has, which is something that when I got hired was highlighted that it was a gap that had to be filled. The last 2 weeks I've started to have more responsibilities and with that came a lot of checking information in a few platforms; in one of them I have to check that shipments get on time and if they have delays, I have to modify the time on the platform so the warehouse can accept it if it's not modified on time the option blocks itself and you can get a fine, and the whole reservation has a period of time that if the cargo is not received that availability of the space will expire and you get an even bigger fine. While checking and modifying there was this shipment that their option to modify was already blocked but it still was not expired, since I couldn't modify it, I didn't check when it was going to expire and now toda...

I think i felt more embarrassed with myself today than I ever have in my entire life. I just started working as a substitute teacher and miraculously got a long term sub job at a high school to teach my favorite subject. It is very difficult as i have only been substitute teaching for a few weeks but this is a really good opportunity to show off and make a good impression to eventually get a full time job. Well, usually I bring a big lunch but I was in a rush this morning and grabbed a cup Ramen to make in the microwave at work. I am so tired and sleep deprived from this job(and plain old stupid with adhd), that i put the Ramen straight in the microwave and set it for 3 minutes. No water. Then I left to take care of something. I came back and yellow nasty plastic smelling smoke was coming out of the microwave. I opened it, and acrid smoke came FLOODING out of the microwave and filled the entire staff room in moments. It is a miracle the fire alarm didn't go off. The ENTIRE seco...

I’m a roll-off garbage truck driver. The transfer station at my yard only handles cardboard, but people hide garbage underneath it. The station separates the garbage and puts it into a 40-yard bin. The place has a massive rat problem. I actually hate dumping even cardboard there because there are rats running everywhere. And these aren’t little rats, they’re fucking huge. I rarely ever dump that 40-yard bin. Today, the guy loaded it onto my truck, I tarped it and headed to another transfer station. On the highway, I look in my mirror and see the two cars behind me swerving all over the road. Then I realize rats are jumping out of my bin and onto the highway. It was literally a scene straight out of a fucking movie. Rats flying out of the bin, cars swerving everywhere, and me sitting there wondering what the hell I had just unleashed. I get to the other transfer station and now I have to open the doors. I was fucking pissing myself. I smack the doors open and sprint back to ...