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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by highlighting my wiener to my hairdresser

Soo...

I had the 'rona hairstyle that badly needed a trim and decided to go with an older hairstyle of mine that was easy enough for my smooth brain to handle. Well after a lot of searching through my pics, the only image that captured the hairstyles elegance was a group photo of me and some friends. In the image, I'm crouching on a staircase, my shorts a little too tight, my stance a little too low, my legs a little to spread, and my you-know-what a little too in-yo-face.

I am not a wealthy man, but the way the shorts bunched up and I suppose the light hitting me made my junk all too apparent through my shorts. Not to mention my friends and I posing in what now seems to be a perfect fibonacci spiral that ends on my man pile. So I did what any normal person would do.

I took the photo into an editor and color corrected the monstrosity to blend in with the rest of my pants. It was a relatively easy fix, went in an hour later and got a perfectly pleasant haircut derived from the image of my hidden garden.

The next day or so I was out with a friend who commented on my hair cut. I pulled up the image to show the reference and the words out of his mouth are:

"nice. Why is your dick circled?"

what the fuck.

I messed with the tint of the image, muted some reds and sure the hell enough, I straight up painted over my shame with a totally different color, and my color blind ass didn't realize that instead of hiding my junk I highlighted it.

The haircut was nice, but I can't help but feel terrible for the lady.

TL;DR

whats the difference between red and yellow? hiding my junk and shoving it in my poor hairstylist's face.

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