Skip to main content

TIFU by saying no to a game

Post a Comment

TIFU By convincing my grandmother-in-law I had a micropenis

Surprisingly this was a TIFU today.

This trip was long coming, my wife and I planned for months this trip. Her grandmother and grandfather are getting old and we needed to plan the trip to go and see them.

The whole vacation started out normal, eating and talking, spending time together like we should.

However tonight was when the horrific event took place. We had dinner for my oldest (7), he got a little birthday celebration and a fun time.

The wine and conversation was flowing. As the night carried on it turned into hard alcohol. More drinks, more talk. The kids settled down and wondered off to bed. But the fun times comminuted.

At one point I went to check on them and went to the bathroom. Here is when it went south.

The house is old and didn’t have an actual lock on the bathroom, so I closed the door and did my business. Half way through my GIL walked in and saw me standing there, wang in hand and just wrapping up. She turned bright red and slammed the door

I quickly thought it would make her feel better if she saw nothing. So I threw the piece away and chased her down. Before she was able to make it back to the rest of them I stopped her and blurted out “don’t worry, there was nothing to see”.

She told me it was her fault, for walking in without knocking.

For some reason feeling pinned against the wall with the sweetest old lady, I said “I have a very small penis, there is no way for your to have seen it”.

Then it hit me, I’m convincing my GIL that I have a micropenis so she feels better about walking in on me in the bathroom.

So I decided to stick with it and told her not many people have seen it due to its size.

She blushed a little and said she was sorry about the mishap.

At least I know she won’t be talking to my wife about it, probably because she feels sorry for me. Mission accomplished?

TLDR: Convinced my GIL I have a micro penis so she wouldn’t be embarrassed.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting called racist for not handing cash to a customer

today I (F18) fucked up by worked a long ahh shift and got put on register. I never hand money in people’s hands as customers have yelled at me for it, and i think it’s germy so I scoot it towards them as a sign of respect. this lady came in and after i did that she goes “Imma need you to do that again and put it in my hand, you did this last time too don’t you know it’s disrespectful” (meanwhile i haven’t worked register in 2 months at said job and didn’t recognize her) so i apologize, and then cuz it’s call off time i go talk to my boss about it and they all agree with me. apparently though she told my keyholder who’s a poc i was being RACIST by not touching her. so i got told i need to do better even though i didn’t do anything. she was insinuating i was a racist. idk if i should quit or what but i fucked up. TL;DR: i’m a dumbass
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by making a joke that landed horribly

I was talking to someone and thought I was being funny, but the second the words left my mouth I knew I had messed up. It was one of those jokes that sounds fine in your head and then just dies completely in real life. Nobody laughed, the mood got awkward instantly, and I could feel my face getting hot because I knew I had just made everything weird for no reason. What made it worse is that I tried to recover from it instead of just shutting up. So then I started talking more, which only made it more obvious that I was panicking. You know that feeling when you can hear yourself getting worse while it’s happening and you still can’t stop? yeah, that was me. I kept trying to act normal, but the whole thing was already gone. After that I just wanted to disappear and pretend it never happened. I’m still thinking about it way more than I should, which somehow makes it even more embarrassing. I really should have just kept my mouth shut for once. TL;DR: I tried to be funny and the joke...
Post a Comment
Read more