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TIFU-By getting a bj

This past weekend a good female friend of mine, I'll call her "Void" in case she reads this, and I traveled to a local city for a fun weekend getaway of good food, partying, and some spicy moments. Now I have a minor defect on the old whoopy stick, basically a not 100 percent completed circumcision. Doesnt cause me any pain, or hurt me, just imagine like a small skin tack that connects head to shaft. Now i don't think about it because I've always had it and it literally never interferes with my daily or sexual life. Now Void has snake two lip rings! Snake bites, for those that dont know two ring piercings on the lower lip that have their openings pointed up! I think they are sexy and they have never been an issue, and im sure you can already tell where this is going. We get hot and heavy and i request some oral attention, everything is fine until the end where i pop out and Void lets out a really worried "UHHH!, MY LIPRING IS CAUGHT ON SOMETHING!" Riding endorphins i dont feel much at first but as her urgency works into my head I snap back and try to move. WORST IDEA! WE ARE HOOKED AND IM SUDDENLY FEELING AN AWFUL PAIN! after a bit of very, very careful maneuvering we disconnect and decide to take a break and reflect on what happened with lots of laughing and disbelief.

TL:DR Incomplete circumcision at birth, leads to completely unforseen consequences of a spicy variety.

P.S. Sorry for the bad formatting, I'm on mobile

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