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TIFU by making a shit so big that it flooded the entire upstairs bathroom

(throwaway for obvious reasons)I[18f] was sleeping peacefully one night, when an ungodly urge provoked me. In a panicked, ice cold sweat, mists of both fear and confusion spewed from my breath. Then, I felt it. A thundering roar preceded by a desperate bleat.. All coming from the deepest pits of my stomach.

It was then that I realized, in a panicked craze, that I had to shit... and badly. I waddled over to the bathroom, as quickly as my stubby, tired legs could carry me. I was on a payload mission, and I only had 2 minutes to complete it. I plopped myself down on the toilet out of desperation. Days worth of unloaded shit spewed down into the murky waters below. It was the culmination of everything that I had to deal with that previous week, embodied by the fragrance of my waste... and it was over before it even started. My ass was sore. I attempted in desperation to flush.. instead, the wrath of the toilet screeched out at me. I knew this was going to be huge.. but nothing could have prepared me for the sheer immensity of what the Gods of my bowels had gifted me. With tired, empty eyes, i peered down into the toilet below.

Now, this shit was far past the magnitude of a dad's shit. It was so wide, that it literally filled the entirety of the hole inside of the toilet bowl... This mf looked like your mother's feet nine months into her second pregnancy. This was the only time in my life that I had ever so desperately pleaded for a poop knife. Like a knight in the wake of a massive dragon, I wielded my plunger with short-term diligence. After 2 minutes of trying and failing to reel this massive shit out, I gave up. It was 1 AM, I had work the next day. I couldn't be bothered by such matters. Little did I know, this would be the biggest mistake yet. 2 hours pass. I'm fast asleep, only to yet again be bothered by an eerie noise... but this time, it was different.

drip, drip, drip
The sound of water pecked my sensitive ears.
*"maybe someone forgot to turn off the sink?"*
I went into the kitchen, then into the bathroom.. Nothing.
A unique feeling of consternation, of which I cannot replicate, reaped any sense of hope away. It's almost as if I knew what was going to happen, without knowing what was going to happen. Hesitantly, I crept to the laundry room. I glanced upward. Meeting my eyes was a vent, dripping with water. It was at this moment, that I knew I fucked up. I ran upstairs. I tried desperately to disarm the toilet of my foul-smelling weaponry. This payload mission had ghoulishly metamorphized into an imperative stealth mission, Metal Gear 2-style... and I was a two-year-old who couldn't hold the controller right. The only source of towels in my house (as to clean up the mess) was in my parents room. You can imagine what happened next. I felt like shit for accidentally waking up my mother. She ended up helping me (poor soul). To my family, I was the hero. I saved the floor from completely giving in. Thing is, no one knows it was me. I practically gave BIRTH to that shit. Now, I must carry around the burden of secrecy wherever I go.
No one can know.
TL;DR: took a massive shit that couldn't fit through the hole in the toilet bowl, flushed the toilet, went to bed (without clogging it), and woke up to dripping coming from the roof. had to mop up the water from the shit with the help of my mom. no one knows it was me.

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