Skip to main content

TIFU By tying a hemorrhoid causing it to rot

I'd always laugh at stories where people tried crazy things on the internet, thinking how stupid people can be. Oh how the tables have turned.

Tldr; Tried to tie a skin tag, turned out to be a hemorrhoid. It started to rot, I feared for my life and tortured myself in the process of making it better.

So I had this hemorrhoid(that I thought was a skin tag) right on the edge of my asshole. It was skin coloured, never itched nor bled, hence my assumption. If anything, it was just a bit annoying.

I read that by tying off a skin tag, it dies and falls off on it's own. Great!

Tying it with thread proved to be a difficult feat, so instead, I got a hair elastic, wrapped it around my fingers 4 times and slid it onto the 'skin tag'. Perfect.

I went on with the rest of my day, extremely proud of my little secret.

The next morning, I noticed it had turned red and a little swollen. It also started to hurt a little more. Thinking nothing of it, I left it alone.

Later, it just got redder and more swollen.

I was starting to think I had tied a hemorrhoid. Skin tags can't possibly have such a blood supply. Oh well. It'll die off on its own.

The following day, things started going downhill. It was a lot more painful and had turned BROWN.

Not only that, but with each passing hour it kept getting darker and murkier. Then came the discharge. The smell was repungant. This is probably what a decaying corpse smells like. God help me.

Now being a broke student with no health insurance, I didn't want to go the hospital.

I just toughed through it; changing my underwear and washing my butthole every few hours, hoping things will get better.

Only it kept getting worse and worse. By the time it had turned black I was afraid. Very afraid. I had necrotic tissue on my butthole and didn't know what to do. Would this be the way I die?

While sitting(or half-sitting. I couldn't even sit properly at this point) in bed, clouded by fear and on the verge of ugly tears- something struck me! My great grandma used an onion w salt on it to treat mother's green, infected finger that had probably needed to be amputated.

I ran(awkwardly) to the kitchen and cut an eighth of an onion, sliced it in like you would a mango and put sea salt all over it. Straight to the bathroom I went, lodging my onion between my cheeks and onto my decaying flesh. Now there seemed to be a cut where the elastic was because IT. HURT. LIKE. A. BITCH. I hissed like a vampire in sunlight. The pain was like nothing I've felt before- like a thousand jellyfish stings concentrated on one spot. I brought this upon myself. Why had I done this to myself?.

Even though it was rather early, I hobbled on to bed. Sleep didn't come though. I lay awake regretting the day I got my great idea, praying that this would work.

Once morning had come, I was the embodiment of anxiety. Hoping things would be better, I slid out the(now limp) onion and examined my poor roid. I couldn't believe my eyes. IT SHRUNK! It was greyish now, and a lot less swollen. WOOHOO!

I continued torturing myself for ~2 days(felt like months) before the elastic slid off itself and all that was left was slough hanging there. I used honey to treat the slough and TA-TO-THE-DA I AM FINE NOW!

Even though things were fine in the end, there was SO. MUCH. POTENTIAL. for this to go all wrong. Never again will I tamper with my body like that.
For anyone self conscious about a skin tag or hemorrhoid: If it doesn't hurt and isn't bothering you, LEAVE IT ALONE, DAMMIT. LEAVE IT.
NO.
NO.
DO NOT TRY TO LIGATE IT YOUESELF.
TAKE HEED.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more