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TIFU By tying a hemorrhoid causing it to rot

I'd always laugh at stories where people tried crazy things on the internet, thinking how stupid people can be. Oh how the tables have turned.

Tldr; Tried to tie a skin tag, turned out to be a hemorrhoid. It started to rot, I feared for my life and tortured myself in the process of making it better.

So I had this hemorrhoid(that I thought was a skin tag) right on the edge of my asshole. It was skin coloured, never itched nor bled, hence my assumption. If anything, it was just a bit annoying.

I read that by tying off a skin tag, it dies and falls off on it's own. Great!

Tying it with thread proved to be a difficult feat, so instead, I got a hair elastic, wrapped it around my fingers 4 times and slid it onto the 'skin tag'. Perfect.

I went on with the rest of my day, extremely proud of my little secret.

The next morning, I noticed it had turned red and a little swollen. It also started to hurt a little more. Thinking nothing of it, I left it alone.

Later, it just got redder and more swollen.

I was starting to think I had tied a hemorrhoid. Skin tags can't possibly have such a blood supply. Oh well. It'll die off on its own.

The following day, things started going downhill. It was a lot more painful and had turned BROWN.

Not only that, but with each passing hour it kept getting darker and murkier. Then came the discharge. The smell was repungant. This is probably what a decaying corpse smells like. God help me.

Now being a broke student with no health insurance, I didn't want to go the hospital.

I just toughed through it; changing my underwear and washing my butthole every few hours, hoping things will get better.

Only it kept getting worse and worse. By the time it had turned black I was afraid. Very afraid. I had necrotic tissue on my butthole and didn't know what to do. Would this be the way I die?

While sitting(or half-sitting. I couldn't even sit properly at this point) in bed, clouded by fear and on the verge of ugly tears- something struck me! My great grandma used an onion w salt on it to treat mother's green, infected finger that had probably needed to be amputated.

I ran(awkwardly) to the kitchen and cut an eighth of an onion, sliced it in like you would a mango and put sea salt all over it. Straight to the bathroom I went, lodging my onion between my cheeks and onto my decaying flesh. Now there seemed to be a cut where the elastic was because IT. HURT. LIKE. A. BITCH. I hissed like a vampire in sunlight. The pain was like nothing I've felt before- like a thousand jellyfish stings concentrated on one spot. I brought this upon myself. Why had I done this to myself?.

Even though it was rather early, I hobbled on to bed. Sleep didn't come though. I lay awake regretting the day I got my great idea, praying that this would work.

Once morning had come, I was the embodiment of anxiety. Hoping things would be better, I slid out the(now limp) onion and examined my poor roid. I couldn't believe my eyes. IT SHRUNK! It was greyish now, and a lot less swollen. WOOHOO!

I continued torturing myself for ~2 days(felt like months) before the elastic slid off itself and all that was left was slough hanging there. I used honey to treat the slough and TA-TO-THE-DA I AM FINE NOW!

Even though things were fine in the end, there was SO. MUCH. POTENTIAL. for this to go all wrong. Never again will I tamper with my body like that.
For anyone self conscious about a skin tag or hemorrhoid: If it doesn't hurt and isn't bothering you, LEAVE IT ALONE, DAMMIT. LEAVE IT.
NO.
NO.
DO NOT TRY TO LIGATE IT YOUESELF.
TAKE HEED.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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