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TIFU by saying no to a game

TIFU - plugged up... wrong lube

TIFU ... well, the other day... still not quite right...

So last weekend we were having a bbq with friends over, the first since lockdown ended in our country.

My husband really gets a good thrill out of me doing things sexually in public so my kinky ass mind thought it would be a great idea to do something sexy for him... mistake number 1...

So fast forward to the party, few drinks are flowing and we’re all having fun... and I get a little provocative when I’ve had a drink..

In my infinite wisdom I slink off upstairs and go to grab a toy... my lush... I look at it and realise it’s low on battery 😞. I then think, oh well I’ll just put a plug in and take a pic for him I decided to go for a big ass metal one which requires a lot of lube... mistake number 2

Without looking at the bottle I dump a load of lube on it and pop it in... no real complaints... take a pic and leave it in.. I then go back downstairs as if nothing is wrong...

I walk over to the hubby... ask him to look at my picture.. he glances up at me with a puzzled look... I’m thinking “oh god he doesn’t like it... what have I done wrong” he pulls me in close and whispered in my ear “don’t get me wrong I find it very hot... but are you okay? I used the last of the normal live this morning” it was at this exact moment my asshole SET ON FIRE... I ran with my cheeks clenched together back up to the bedroom and Rabat the drawer to find what I had used....

Tingle lube..

Fucking TINGLE?! I felt like I had 600 fire ants gnawing their way out of my anus...

Wipe after wipe and it just wouldn’t cease. I spent the rest of the party in bed with and ice pack on my asshole playing the pain away.

So yeah... don’t use tingle lube... especially for anal play.

(TL/DR: tried to be sexy by putting a plug in, used the wrong lube, burnt my anus for hours... tingle lube was created by Satan)

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