TIFU putting in a tampon

Obligatory - this wasn't today. It was about 2004, when I was a young, young adult, not even old enough to drink.. Also obligatory - I remembered this story because of another recent post, so yeah.

TLDR at the end.

Bit of set up here - I was a student at a local culinary institute; passionate; I was gonna be the next Michelin star chef in my town (lol, little me's delusions didn't last). I had recently graduated the practicum course and was in the 'main building' of the institute, downtown. So exciting for little me.

I was commuting almost 3 hours each way, as well as working two jobs to pay the bills. (this matters)

So little me is so thrilled to be making real recipes now, not just basic sauces and practicing cutting skills. But little me is tired, overworking myself, and taking lots of caffeine & ephedra pills to function (this was right before ephedra was banned). Maybe I was not at peak awareness, as I felt I was.

So this fateful day, I recall we are making some sort of fish with a habenero relish. It was fantastic, balanced enough that the habeneros didn't overwhelm, just the right amount of acid/heat. Clever little me wore gloves when chopping her habeneros, because duh! Easy peasy!

So little me finishes up, bring it up, chef tastes my dish, I did well!

Beaming, I excuse myself to use the restroom. I do my business, then need to change the tampon I've had in all morning. No biggie, why would I think twice? I've been doing this for 5 years now. Does anyone see where this is going yet? No? Anyway. So I get it changed, and get my pants half up before I feel it. Dear readers, there had been a hole in my gloves, and I, unwittingly had gotten habenero juice all over my hand. Or fingers. It didn't matter. Because it was now inside my vagina. And on my labia.

It burned, sure, but somehow also felt as though my labia/vagina were being sliced by tiny razors, and habenero juice rubbed into the cuts. Mucous membranes are NOT able to handle capsaicin guys. I rushed to get my pants most of the way on, and to the sink for wet paper towels, then back into the stall to wash. It did nothing. Again I rushed out, this time two wads of paper towels, one with soapy water, one just wet, to rinse. Again no relief was found other than the coolness of the water....

I excused myself from the rest of classes and work for the day, suffered the 3 hour bus/train ride home, to shower. I swear it gave me no relief. I had to wait that shit out, my poor vagina red and angry...

Lesson: -always- wash hands after handling hot peppers. Even if you wore gloves.

TLDR: I put a tampon in with habenero juice on my hands, and felt hell burning in my vagina for the rest of the day, and some of the next.