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TIFU by asking my friend who he lost his virginity to.

Obligatory this happened yesterday, on mobile, English is my only language so any mistakes are all me, etc. etc.

Backstory: Me and this guy, S, have been friends since high school. We did date briefly in during that time, but it was short lived and we remained friends. We’ve lost touch here and there over the years as he moved out of state shortly after HS and isn’t big on social media and he regularly changes his phone number. We were out of touch for 2-3 years and have been back in touch for ~2 years currently.

So S is in town visiting family and asks if we can grab a drink, catch up, all that good stuff, since we haven’t seen each other face to face in like 10 years. Sure! We make a day of it, pizza, beer, good times.

The topic of exes/dating horror stories comes up. We share, commiserate, laugh at ourselves, at each other, it’s all good. We start joking about the songs people lost their virginity to. I’m slightly more than tipsy at this point from drinking all afternoon, and ask him if he remembers what song he lost his virginity to. The conversation is as follows:

S: oh yeah, it was “Voodoo” by Godsmack.

Me, laughing: oh man, Godsmack, wow. So who did you lose your virginity to?

S, completely deadpan: you.

I. Was. Fucking. Mortified. So what do I do when I’m mortified? I fucking laugh. Of course I do! So here I am, not remembering this poor dude lost his virginity to me, and am laughing my ass off at what a terrible person I am. I want to die. I’m apologizing profusely through tears of laugher because I’m drunk and an asshole.

Thankfully he didn’t just get up and leave after that severe blow to the ego, but I could not make direct eye contact for the rest of the evening because the shame and embarrassment were real.

Tl;dr I asked my friend who he lost his virginity to. It was me.

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