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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by thinking muscles = more confidence and becoming a typical oblivious idiot

So this happened like less than an hour ago. Saw a crazy gorgeous redhead girl at the store when I was shopping for chicken and ice cream (weird combo but cheat days) in the ice cream aisle and I thought to say "hey I love your outfit" but she looked busy so I just grabbed my thing of ice cream and went to grab chicken. Cut to a few mins later in the longest line I've ever seen at 10:30 at night in a Walmart and she's right in front of me. queue my dumbass opening and closing my phone screen thinking of something to say

Me: Hey, I love your outfit!

Her: Oh my god, thank you so much! I got the shorts from Walmart and the top from Amazon

Me: That's awesome! I was gonna say something when I saw you in the ice cream aisle but you looked busy.

Her: Yeah I was debating on whether I wanted some ice cream but I figured if I can't even carry it to the register I probably shouldn't get it.

Me: Well ice cream isn't so bad as long as you eat it in moderation its not too many calories.

Her: looks at my dumbass holding 6 pounds of chicken and a tub of ice cream Damn you look good, I'm sure carrying that ice cream wouldn't have been a problem for you.

Me: giggles like a fucking schoolgirl Thanks, I'm down like 200lbs since I first started working out.

Her: Yeah you look amazing continues to eyefuck me

Continued conversation about healthy eating and the gym, her blatantly flirting a few more times and my dumbass failing miserably because "oooo pretty girl".

Another moment that like 5 years from now I'll wake up in the middle of the night saying "what the fuck is wrong with me".

TL;DR 6'5" dumbfuck obsessed with the gym (me) fails miserably at recognizing super cute redhead blatantly flirting and added another random "what the fuck were you doing" moment for years from now.

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