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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU courtesy flushing

I was "handling my business" (and oh business was good) one day and performed the "courtesy flush." My gf's bowl is pretty small so it wasn't uncommon for me to feel some water hitting my "frontal area" when I flushed it. So I flushed and water cascaded over my dick...and then it engulfed by balls...and then my ass cheeks...and then my asshole. Before I knew it, my turds were trying to swim back up my ass, and I was floating in my own piss and shit as the toilet was overflowing while I was sitting on it. I could only imagine I had a look of concern on my face as I try and figure out how I'm going to plunge the toilet, covered in shit and piss, with my pants around my ankles, hovering over the commode like an umpire calling the World Series, without getting said shit and piss all over the bathroom and my clean clothes. I managed to fish the plunger between my legs and plunge it like an Amish woman churning butter until the water subsided. But I still couldn't sit back down because I'm still covered in shit and piss, so off came my clothes, and very delicately but swiftly I dove into the shower.

If you're a courtesy flusher, keep this story in mind because I assure you, it's a place you don't want to find yourself.

TL;DR the toilet overflowed while I was giving a courtesy flush

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