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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU Masturbating too much because of a new relationship.

Alright so this actually happened today and is an ongoing issue, yay life. I got out of a six year relationship ~7 months ago and just decided to start dating again. I met my now girlfriend and the chemistry we have is incredible. But guess what? Alone time I’m like always turned on now.

So I’m at the store the other day and wanted to buy some lotion like the degenerate I am to fap with. Olay shea butter to be precise. Over the next several days I’m beating this thing like it owes me money.

Fast forward to today, I have a date tomorrow and my dick looks like it’s scaling up like a fish. It’s honestly disgusting and looks like a science experiment. I’ve inadvertently been masturbating with body wash that I thought was lotion for the better part of a week and now I have to explain this to a partner of less than a month tomorrow.

TLDR Don’t beat off with body wash, it causes dry, calloused skin.

Edit: okay don’t beat a guy when he’s down (no pun intended). I’ll invest in lube.

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