Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

TIFU by not masturbating

Years ago I was a late bloomer when it came to the most common puberty hobby. Something about it just felt awkward so I didn't do it despite unusually easy access to porn for a 14 year old. Turns out no nut puberty has consequences.

One day at the end of football practice I started having intense abdominal and groin pain. The pain was so intense I could barely walk. I'm from a small, rural area that was pretty much has a deal with it, shake off the pain attitude so I just dealt with the pain for about a week. At the time I lived with my brother(24) and his then wife since my mom was a truck driver. My SIL definitely noticed something was wrong but I refused to acknowledge it and didn't tell her the full extent because I didn't want to admit to being weak or talk to a girl about my tenders.

My will finally broke when my mom was home for the weekend. She suggested it could be a hernia which freaked me out even more and led to me claiming I can just deal with it for the last 3 weeks of football. That didn't fly so mom, bro, and I head to the ER.

In our small town ER one of the doctors was a Vietnam immigrant who is a fantastic dr but his broken English sometimes made communicating difficult. He tells me to drop my shorts as I look on in horror that my mom and bro were gonna see my weiner. After poking and prodding for a few minutes he leaves the room for what felt like an eternity.

He comes back and starts trying to explain that I was suffering from a growing pain of puberty where my testes were overproducing semen causing a backup. There was a lot of awkwardness as we sat there trying to fully grasp what the doctor was struggling to communicate which was I needed to "find a way to release the excess semen." Doc has them give me a pain shot and prescription that should help.

While we're waiting on the pharmacist to arrive afterhours, I broke the silence in the truck by asking "did the dr just say I need to jack off?" Went to school the next day to tell my friends and coaches that I had a doctor's note to jerk it.

TL;DR didn't masturbate at the start of puberty, experienced severe abdominal pain, went to the doctor to be told I need to masturbate regularly

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more