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TIFU by not masturbating

Years ago I was a late bloomer when it came to the most common puberty hobby. Something about it just felt awkward so I didn't do it despite unusually easy access to porn for a 14 year old. Turns out no nut puberty has consequences.

One day at the end of football practice I started having intense abdominal and groin pain. The pain was so intense I could barely walk. I'm from a small, rural area that was pretty much has a deal with it, shake off the pain attitude so I just dealt with the pain for about a week. At the time I lived with my brother(24) and his then wife since my mom was a truck driver. My SIL definitely noticed something was wrong but I refused to acknowledge it and didn't tell her the full extent because I didn't want to admit to being weak or talk to a girl about my tenders.

My will finally broke when my mom was home for the weekend. She suggested it could be a hernia which freaked me out even more and led to me claiming I can just deal with it for the last 3 weeks of football. That didn't fly so mom, bro, and I head to the ER.

In our small town ER one of the doctors was a Vietnam immigrant who is a fantastic dr but his broken English sometimes made communicating difficult. He tells me to drop my shorts as I look on in horror that my mom and bro were gonna see my weiner. After poking and prodding for a few minutes he leaves the room for what felt like an eternity.

He comes back and starts trying to explain that I was suffering from a growing pain of puberty where my testes were overproducing semen causing a backup. There was a lot of awkwardness as we sat there trying to fully grasp what the doctor was struggling to communicate which was I needed to "find a way to release the excess semen." Doc has them give me a pain shot and prescription that should help.

While we're waiting on the pharmacist to arrive afterhours, I broke the silence in the truck by asking "did the dr just say I need to jack off?" Went to school the next day to tell my friends and coaches that I had a doctor's note to jerk it.

TL;DR didn't masturbate at the start of puberty, experienced severe abdominal pain, went to the doctor to be told I need to masturbate regularly

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