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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by nutting blood all over my wife’s face

Actually happened last Sunday. I was out of town for two weeks because of work, so my wife and I hadn’t seen each other for a while. On my way home we’re sexting a bit and things are getting pretty heavy. I get home and fire up the shower. She pops in with me. We’re making out and move things into the bedroom. We share a wall with our neighbours, so I cut the lights and throw on a movie (The Avengers) for some background noise.

She’s on top of me riding, but I can tell she’s into the movie too, so I flip her around and hit it from behind so we can both watch, because that’s what gentlemen do. It’s her favourite position, so she’s getting suuuuper wet. Like, really wet. Within 30 seconds she’s having an orgasm.

Well, when she nuts, I’m usually not far behind, so I tell her I’m close and ask her where I should cum (again, because I’m a gentleman). She says “cum in my mouth”. So I stand up and unleash everything I got. I’m talking full out cerebral palsy orgasm, where I couldn’t even open my eyes.

As my soul is re-entering my body, I notice my dong is darker than normal in the TV glare. I flip on the bathroom lights and suddenly I can see why… blood everywhere. Like, murder scene everywhere. I gasp in horror as my beautiful wife stumbles in like Carrie from the Steven King book.

Turns out all that wetness was her period arriving early and she didn’t know. She saw herself in the mirror and burst out laughing. I started dry heaving. So much for a romantic evening.

TL:DR Wife and I had sex in the dark on her period (unknowingly) and I ended up getting period blood all over her face.

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