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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by eating from Wendy’s

This happened last night when I was at work. Learn from my mistakes.

Upon ordering spicy chicken nuggets and given the option of getting the ghost pepper sauce, your initial reaction may be “oh hell no” because you know the dangers of a ghost pepper. However, the kind people at Wendy’s may add a pack or two into your order anyway… just in case you wanted to change your mind. Now you’re sitting wherever you choose to eat and you inspect your order while opening everything and see the ghost pepper sauce packets. Your curiosity is piqued. You think, “you know what? Maybe I’ll just try it.” So there you are: dipping a tiny bit of a spicy nugget into this sauce that you’ll soon realize is much more dangerous than expected. You try a small bite and go “oh… that’s not so bad… wait a minute that can’t be right. Let me have another bite.” And so you go. Down the path that you can never return from. You eat bite after bite and finish the entire 10 piece of nuggets and an entire sauce pack. You’re satisfied, life is good, what were you ever worried about? Fast forward to 3:30 am and you’re sitting on the toilet for the second time in an hour with your bootyhole feeling like Satan himself reached out through the toilet bowl and laid his own brand of fire on it. Blue Oyster Cult might have aang not to fear the reaper, but I’m here to tell you they were wrong. Seasons do fear the reaper.

TL:DR: ate ghost pepper sauce from Wendy’s and it didn’t hit me till 3 am when I was dropping fireballs out of my sphincter.

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