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TIFU by getting fired over assuming a customers gender identity.

Note, I will be using the term “The person” instead if “He” or “Her”

I am 19M and was an employee of a well-known American supermarket until today. Around 3 P.M, I was re-stocking chips on the shelves until I saw a person was trying to reach for the very top shelf to get a bag of tortilla chips. Of course, I went over to help, got the bag of chips down, then finished the interaction with “Have a great rest if your day ma’am!” This is where I fucked up.

Keep in mind, the person was wearing a crop top with a short skirt, high heels, and makeup. Using the visual knowledge I gained about the female and male body structure and outfit for the past 19 years, I assumed that the person was a female.

Furthermore, the person was not smiling, did not say thank you at all and had a straight and serious face for the entire duration of the action. That pretty much tells you their personality right off the bat.

All of a sudden I hear a loud yell from the person. It caught me off guard from how subtle and loud it was. I was confused for a couple of seconds, and finally registered the yell when it came clear to me that the person shouted “EXCUSE ME?”. I immediately replied with “Sorry?”. Then within a matter of seconds, the person goes on a verbal rampage, drawing other customers and employees to the blaring and roaring noise. I was not clear at the moment of what the person was saying until I realized the person was upset over me calling the person “Ma’am”. I still remember this single phrase that the person said “Don’t you EVER assume anyones gender. Ask them for their pronouns first, THEN talk to them.”

I didn’t want to cause a bigger scene than what it already was so I simply said “I am very sorry for assuming your gender. I have learnt my lesson.”

Nope. The person kept going off, raising their voice by every second, that felt like a lifetime. And finally asked to speak to my manager. I said “Okay, I will get him right now.” To which the person said, “NO. Show me to him, GO ON…”

I finally bring the person to the manager. The person explains the situation to my manager, waiting for the everlasting blabber to stop. Everything the person said was the same until I heard a eye opening sentence. “I want him fired. NOW!” Wait what?

The manager asks me, “Did you assume this customers gender?” Which I replied to “Yes, but it was a mistake!”. Never in a million years would I thought to hear this next phrase. “I’m sorry {my name}, but we can’t have this in the store, especially at {supermarket name}. I gotta let you go. You can pick up your final check in 2 weeks.”

I was shattered. I lost my job over a stupid customer, over a stupid reason, and an overly stupid manager. Now I’m here, jobless.

My coworkers messaged me after the incident, while I was in the car, sobbing. I got so much support from my lovely coworkers who witnessed the entire shitshow. They all agreed the customer and our manager was in the wrong.

TL;DR - Got fired because of assuming an offended and super sensitive customers gender. Manager did not help at all.

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