Skip to main content

TIFU by removing my earring too early

Post a Comment

TIFU by getting Korean BBQ

This just happened to me an hour ago but I knew I needed to post it on here since I never have anything good to post.

I drove about an hour away from my home to get Korean BBQ with my sisters. When I got there, I noticed they had been using the a pair of tongs to grab the uncooked chicken to cook, and then used the same tongs to move the cooked chicken onto our plates.

I felt weird about that about that but didn’t say anything. I figured if they only gave us one pair, then this must be how it’s done and it must be safe. Maybe this is just how the Koreans do things.

Fast forward to after dinner. I was stuffed with delicious bulgogi and teriyaki chicken, I had made one bathroom trip and I was eager to get home. I clicked “home” on Google maps but little did I know this was the fatal mistake.

Halfway home, my boyfriend and I start to argue about something, and I started to feel some sharp pain and pressure in my belly. I was so focused on trying to win the argument, I got off at an exit that stumped me directly into event traffic. Yeah turns out I clicked “work” on my gps, not “home.” This detour added an unnecessary 20 minutes. After about 5 minutes in traffic, I knew that I was doomed to shit my pants tonight.

I’m not exaggerating when I say I hit every stoplight on the way home and got stuck in 3 separate traffic jams.

I thought about pulling over to shit at a gas station. Would I rather just shit my pants, or risk being harassed or assaulted at 10:30pm in the middle of South central by the weird guys pacing in front of the gas station? I ultimately decided to just accept my fate and focus on getting home.

All the while, my boyfriend is still in the phone. I was panicking and struggling so hard to get words out that I eventually just cussed him out. I didn’t know this until afterwards but my shitty attitude during the whole scene had driven him to drink. He had picked up a nice bottle of scotch and a pack of cigarettes and waited for me outside so he could get the cat and I could run inside. (Don’t worry I’ve apologized and he was really chill about everything.)

I was finally at the exit and had ALMOST made it when it all finally let loose. I wish I was kidding when I say that I literally tried to stop the shit from coming out my ass hole as I exited the freeway. Hot steaming shit piled into the back of my pants and quickly made its way to the front.

At this point, I’ve got one hand under my ass, my ass is lifted off the seat, I’m on the freeway exit trying not to cause a traffic accident, I’m in pain, I can smell everything, I’m yelling at my bf who didn’t do anything wrong (again, I apologized) and now I’m scared I’m gonna get a vaginal infection or hit from the feces that had now taken up residence in my crotch.

There was just no stopping it. Having to walk inside my house with pants full of my own shit was humbling…

Tldr: I ate Korean bbq too far from my house and shit my pants on the drive home.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by not disabling an option in Windows that seemingly made my PC stutter for the last 3 years

I bought a pretty good PC in 2019 (2300 € of goodness) but, a few months after I installed it, the PC started to have, at random, small freeze for like a second, every 10 to 50 min for seemingly no reason. I did tons of benchmark, pretty much read every posts about "my PC is stuttering/freezing help meee" on the internet, called the After Sale number from where I bought the PC. Removing and putting the GPU back helped for a few weeks, but then back to square one. Checked the state of my disks, the ventirad, everything ! Restarting the PC made the stuttering stop for like 1 or 2 hours that's it. I had GPU-Z and CPUID monitor on all the time to check if anything happened, and weirdly enough, having those monitoring program open made the stuttering way weaker ! Drove me absolutely crazy. Then one or two weeks ago I saw a post on r/buildapc about Fast Startup option in Windows and how it was a good idea to disable it... So I did. Since then, nothing. No stuttering, no f...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU while being spicy with my Gf

I 26M have a gf 22f. We enjoy sex with each other but wanted to spice it up as she wanted to try something new and I was all for it. She had me order cuffs, a blindfold, and a vibrating plug which I thought would be fun to try. I let her know when they arrived and a few days after they arrived she came over and we got ready. She had me out the cuffs on her and blind fold first before I did anything else, followed by getting the plug ready. I put what I thought was a good amount of lube on it as one does. Well sadly when I slowly put the plug in, it immediately went all the way in as off it was just sucked in followed by a loud “AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHGHHHHH” which my dumbass at first thought “Oh she must really like it!” Until i realized it was from pain. I started panicking for a second then realized she was in pain, blind folded, and handcuffed. When I asked if she wanted me to take them off she said no and just sat there for about another 5 minutes. It didn’t completely ruin our spicey t...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by not getting visual confirmation on the lube he was using

Obligatory not today, but I was talking with my ex (the counterpart in this story) and he said he was surprised I hadn’t written this post yet, and truthfully, he’s right. So I (30 at the time, F) and my boyfriend (29 at the time, M) had been dating for a few months and were honestly having a blast. Maybe too much fun. A lot of late nights out. Both very spontaneous people with a lot of social and sexual energy when together, the latter being an important component of this story. One night we had decided to go to one of our neighborhood spots and have a few drinks before heading back to his place. In our city there’s this local artist that creates these awesome vending machines full of unique shit, some of it’s as simple as a pair of earrings or a bag of tiny ducks, but the fun ones are these mystery packages. I always liked choosing the spirit animal ones cause those contain a tiny toy animal and a card with some relatively snarky description of why your lazy like a shark or whateve...
Post a Comment
Read more