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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by using a random Porta Potty on an abandoned lot

This happened about 2 hours ago and I have a little bit of time on my lunch break so let me drop the situation on how I almost met god today.

I work as a Splicer for a certain ISP so my day is pretty much spent in the streets. The specific city I live in has a lot of renovations and new construction going on so I’m blessed to have access to porta pottys pretty much anywhere I go.

I had just finished up on a job took longer than expected so I had a bladder that I desperately needed to relieve. I drove down the street and a few minutes later I saw the one that would bring me close to death.

I didn’t think much of it but now looking back, there was a few red flags about this home. It looks like it hasn’t been touched in months, exterior Tyvek was coming off, weeds everywhere and no construction workers in sight.

I parked my work van a few feet away and I felt that the dams were about to burst. I step in to the Porta Potty, lock the door and went on about my business. I looked around and saw that the last service date was around march but I didn’t pay much attention to it. I let my thoughts meander and I’m filled with relief as I continue to drain the hose. While about halfway through I heard some small wings flapping near my ear and something land on my ear. I am deathly afraid of bugs and once this happened, chills ran down my spine as I made a sound similar to young cow getting dropped kicked off a 24 story building. I squealed and got so scared that the stream stopped on its own. As secured my the goods, internal panic sets in as my instincts made force my body to exit without thinking and I ran straight into the door. I hit the door with enough force to yeet a toddler. I forgot that I locked the door. Fight or flight kicked in as a heard the amount of wings buzzing behind me multiply. Chills run down my spine as I remembered that I locked the door. My brain kicked into slow motion, I saw my life flash before my eyes as I turn the handle and sprint out like Jesse Owens as soon as he heard the starting shot. I ran to my work van with speed that my high school self would be shocked to see, tried to slide over my hood like a Kroger version of starsky and hutch, jumped in the van and looked back, I saw at least 20-30 wasp buzzing around the porta potty door and I looked at the top and saw the wasp nest on the chimney. I catch my breath, clean my hands and drove off praying that no one saw what just happened.

TL:DR - I used a Porta Potty not knowing there was a wasp nest that made it it’s home.

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