Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU by Asking about one question too many about handcuffs.

Obligatory not today. After our Thanksgiving feast we all decided to play Jackbox (for the two of you who don't know, it's a set of party games you play on your phones with one tv screen displaying information for everyone). We played fakin' it, where each round one person is the faker and must answer questions they don't know without appearing suspicious. Round 2: first question: raise your hand if you've ever worn handcuffs for any reason. I thought back to my childhood and recalled playing with a pair of handcuffs in the room I shared with my brothers (before they moved out). They were toy handcuffs (with a tab that can release the grip and free your hands, and also a simple key), but handcuffs nonetheless. I decided is raise my hand. I knew my brother and his wife were probably into kinky stuff, so I knew they'd get outed by each other. I'm pretty sure my sister has been detained, so her hand would probably go up. Either way, she'd get outed by her husband (Also playing) who I had no clue on. That just left my mom. She's not the kind to ever get arrested and there's no way my mom was ever into kinky stuff, right? Not My Mom...right?

I watched her hand go up, but suspicion is immediately placed on my hand and everyone voted me as the faker. I explained the toy handcuffs i found, but everyone just laughed and went ahead with the vote. I got so caught up with defending myself I forgot to point out that Mom's hand went up too. Next question (I don't remember it), Mom's answer was met with suspicion and we promptly voted her as the faker. She was not. Here's the TIFU. I asked her when she wore handcuffs. I was expecting an answer like "my brother's a cop" or "I visited a police station when placing handcuffs on children was socially acceptable."

My friends, much awkward laughter was made in that short time which felt like eternity. My sister burst into "🎵When a MAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN LOVES A WOMAN!!!🎶" All at once it clicked. Those handcuffs were not real, but they were also too well made to be a children's toy.

I had played with my parents kinky sex toy. I don't think I need to elaborate how that can scar even the most sex-deadened individuals.

TL/DR: I asked one question too many and discovered I had played with (one of?) my parents' kinky sex toy.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...