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Obligatory not today. After our Thanksgiving feast we all decided to play Jackbox (for the two of you who don't know, it's a set of party games you play on your phones with one tv screen displaying information for everyone). We played fakin' it, where each round one person is the faker and must answer questions they don't know without appearing suspicious. Round 2: first question: raise your hand if you've ever worn handcuffs for any reason. I thought back to my childhood and recalled playing with a pair of handcuffs in the room I shared with my brothers (before they moved out). They were toy handcuffs (with a tab that can release the grip and free your hands, and also a simple key), but handcuffs nonetheless. I decided is raise my hand. I knew my brother and his wife were probably into kinky stuff, so I knew they'd get outed by each other. I'm pretty sure my sister has been detained, so her hand would probably go up. Either way, she'd get outed by her husband (Also playing) who I had no clue on. That just left my mom. She's not the kind to ever get arrested and there's no way my mom was ever into kinky stuff, right? Not My Mom...right?
I watched her hand go up, but suspicion is immediately placed on my hand and everyone voted me as the faker. I explained the toy handcuffs i found, but everyone just laughed and went ahead with the vote. I got so caught up with defending myself I forgot to point out that Mom's hand went up too. Next question (I don't remember it), Mom's answer was met with suspicion and we promptly voted her as the faker. She was not. Here's the TIFU. I asked her when she wore handcuffs. I was expecting an answer like "my brother's a cop" or "I visited a police station when placing handcuffs on children was socially acceptable."
My friends, much awkward laughter was made in that short time which felt like eternity. My sister burst into "🎵When a MAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN LOVES A WOMAN!!!🎶" All at once it clicked. Those handcuffs were not real, but they were also too well made to be a children's toy.
I had played with my parents kinky sex toy. I don't think I need to elaborate how that can scar even the most sex-deadened individuals.
TL/DR: I asked one question too many and discovered I had played with (one of?) my parents' kinky sex toy.
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