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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by drinking a Pepsi

My wife and I welcomed our twin boys into the world about 6 weeks ago. We’re still in that lovely phase of life wherein we don’t have a sleep schedule so much as we’re microdosing sleep. So yesterday night, we’re up at 4am feeding our boys. My wife handled the first twin, and I had the second. Well, Twin #1 (T1) finished his meal first, and my wife moved him over to a rocking chair where she gently rocked him back to sleep. Took about 20 minutes with him fighting sleep, but she got him. She gingerly set him down in his bassinet, and went back to sleep herself. Meanwhile, T2 was wrapping up his meal too. I got him up; burped him, and took him over to the rocking chair to rock him to sleep too. He was drifting off nicely. To avoid falling asleep myself, I was getting a needed hit of caffeine from a can of Pepsi. I took a medium sized sip, and set the can down. Not 30 seconds later I too felt the need to burp. No biggie, I’ll just let off a silent one, right?

NOPE. Between the empty stomach, the fizzy drink, the rocking, and the 8lb baby on top of my belly, i let out the longest, loudest belch I’d ever made unintentionally. The sonic belch I released spooked T2, which woke him up, and got him screaming, that screaming woke up the wife and T1. Worse yet, that spooked the cats and they started charging around the house meowing like crazy. Took another 2 hours for everyone to calm down. Whoops.

TL;DR one sip of pop turned me into a bursting balloon that woke up my whole family.

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