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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by inserting a foam earplug into my penis

This happened last night I’m still freaking out, and I worry that dire consequences still await me.

So, last night I was high, and I stupidly decided to pinch a foam ear plug down real tight and push it down my shaft. I guess I thought it would expand a little and feel pretty good. So wrong!! This thing expanded way too much, and stretched me in a way that I would not wish upon anyone.

I immediately yoinked it out, at which point I was faced with an unbearable friction… and I fear that irreparable damage has been done.

Yes, before you ask, there was some blood. But it was like, just a little? I feel like it might be ok?

What’s the game plan here, Reddit? Just ignore it and hope for the best?

I feel ok, for the most part, but my pee stream was notably wider and less streamlined this morning… so that’s concerning. Have I been permanently stretched? Am I destined now to wander this earth with a loosened urethra?

Fuck… I just wish I could somehow go back in time and not have stuck that ear plug up my urethra… please learn from my mistake.

Tl;dr: put foam ear plug in cock, got stretched in a bad way.

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