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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by putting something up my butt.

I had to drop off a package at the post office. It’s inside a government building that requires you to go through a metal detector. As I pass through the metal detector, it goes off so the security guard checks me with the metal detector wand. Before scanning my body he asks if I’ve had any surgeries. Not thinking anything of it, I quickly respond, “no.” The wand keeps going off. Then, I remember that it’s because I put in a stainless steel butt plug 😳 so he keeps moving the wand over my mini skirt and I'm contemplating if I should just tell him. I consider typing on my phone “I’m so sorry. This is so awkward but I am wearing a butt plug.” He’s super confused, “this is so weird. What’s going on?” He tells the other security guard; they’re both confused now. Finally, I decide to ask "I just had to swing by the post office. Would you mind just dropping off this box for me?" (It’s not that weird of a request because it was ~100 feet away and the box successfully made it through security). He responds, "don't worry about it, just very strange.”

Edit: I included as much proof as I can give in my comment response to Detroiter_1017. Post office time stamp at 3:57. I texted my boyfriend about what happened at 4:03 PM and then sent him a pic of the butt plug at 5:12.

TL;DR I walked into a govt building with a butt plug in and security didn’t know why the metal detector kept going off.

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