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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by not peeing first

Getting down with this guy I’m seeing and things start ramping up. I’m on my stomach, he’s on top of me and and as I lay down I realize that I should have peed first. Unfortunately it was too late and 15 seconds in I could feel what only could be described as a snow plow trying to go through a chunk of ice. Things are uncomfortable at this point, (which is normal for me with initial penetration) and I’m like “okay just relax your muscles and think about the masterpiece of a man that you are with.” Two-ish minutes go by and I’m still having trouble. It felt like a mix between feeling that my bladder is being knocked around like a volleyball, and the occasional cervix fist-bump all while partly aroused; I had to call it quits. I give my body approximately a minute and a half to calm down and then I make my way to the bathroom. I sit down and it takes a solid 50 seconds for me to even start trying to pee through cramping, burning and the inability to pee because I’m still aroused. I unleash the flood gates and instantly relief washes over my body. Things end, I pop some Tylenol and make my way home. Two hours later I am sitting here with extreme pelvic cramps that are radiating up the sides of my back and down my thighs. Definitely will make sure to pee before sexy time.

Edit: My partner was aware of all of this as it was happening. The pain started, I said stop, explained what happened, handled the bladder issue and tried again. The attempt failed and we laughed it off.

TLDR; I didn’t pee before sex and what felt like a soft ball sized bladder made it impossible to enjoy said sex.

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