Skip to main content

TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

Post a Comment

TIFU by not peeing first

Getting down with this guy I’m seeing and things start ramping up. I’m on my stomach, he’s on top of me and and as I lay down I realize that I should have peed first. Unfortunately it was too late and 15 seconds in I could feel what only could be described as a snow plow trying to go through a chunk of ice. Things are uncomfortable at this point, (which is normal for me with initial penetration) and I’m like “okay just relax your muscles and think about the masterpiece of a man that you are with.” Two-ish minutes go by and I’m still having trouble. It felt like a mix between feeling that my bladder is being knocked around like a volleyball, and the occasional cervix fist-bump all while partly aroused; I had to call it quits. I give my body approximately a minute and a half to calm down and then I make my way to the bathroom. I sit down and it takes a solid 50 seconds for me to even start trying to pee through cramping, burning and the inability to pee because I’m still aroused. I unleash the flood gates and instantly relief washes over my body. Things end, I pop some Tylenol and make my way home. Two hours later I am sitting here with extreme pelvic cramps that are radiating up the sides of my back and down my thighs. Definitely will make sure to pee before sexy time.

Edit: My partner was aware of all of this as it was happening. The pain started, I said stop, explained what happened, handled the bladder issue and tried again. The attempt failed and we laughed it off.

TLDR; I didn’t pee before sex and what felt like a soft ball sized bladder made it impossible to enjoy said sex.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by fucking my coworker

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by shopping on Amazon

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...
Post a Comment
Read more