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This happened last week.
My mom is a stage 4 kidney cancer survivor. She's been in remission for 10 years, but a few weeks ago, a small cyst came back as cancerous after testing. She's in the process of going through all of her tests and scans and we'll learn a lot more next week.
To keep her mind off of it on a difficult day, my family took her out for breakfast. We had decided on our meals, but were debating whether or not to get these cinnamon puffs as a starter. We had a really friendly waitress, and we asker her opinion.
Me: "How are the cinnamon puffs?"
Waitress: "Oh they are an addiction, they are so good!"
Mom: "I can tell!"
Me inside: WTF Mom?!
Me outside: "Ok, yeah! We'll take an order of those"
I wait 10 seconds or so for the waitress to leave our table before calling out my mom.
Me: "Mom! Were you calling our waitress fat?!"
My partners face goes as wide eyed as I've ever seen, you know a shut UP! face. Partner in hushed voice, moving her mouth as little as possible, still with the face: "She's at the register 2 feet behind you!"
So yeah, pretty positive she heard me making a bad situation even worse. My mom explained that she didn't mean it as a fat comment whatsoever, and meant she could tell because lot's of people had them at their tables. After all of this, I couldn't decide if I should just actively apologize if the waitress heard, or if there was a chance she didn't hear. Ultimately decided a 30% tip was the best way to say sorry if she had heard, and a pleasant surprise if she hadn't.
tl;dr: Thought my mom was calling our waitress fat, called my mom out, and the waitress was standing right behind me. Left a generous tip as an apology.
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