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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by drinking plastic

So this actually did happen today, about 20 minutes ago, and I am still mourning the tragic loss of my breakfast.

I had the day off from work today, but I decided to have my normal morning smoothie anyway, because I was not about to drive to get breakfast due to extreme laziness. I got together all the normal ingredients and began chucking them into my little smoothie cup, just like normal.

However, I own a tiny goblin for a cat, and this little jerk (whom I love with my entire heart) likes to wind through my legs as I walk, and nearly cause my demise on a daily basis. She was doing her usual attempt to disable me, and I stumbled backwards into her, while cursing and flailing my arms. There was also an empty milk bottle on my counter, with the red cap off it. Enter the fuck up. I must have knocked it into the cup, and thought it was a frozen strawberry in my "factory worker has a day off" grogginess.

The blender, when started, began making horrific sounds, but I figured it might just be getting old. Finally, my smoothie was ready, and I took a sip. I recoiled at whatever the hell was CRUNCHY in my smoothie. I quickly spat it out to discover small pieces of red plastic. I was about to save the evidence and show the grocery store, but then I had a light bulb moment.

Via forensic investigation (read: I compared the color to the milk bottle) I discovered it was the remains of my red plastic milk cap. I definitely swallowed some of the plastic, and I think there might still be a piece stuck in my throat. RIP to my breakfast. The tiny assassin managed to take out my smoothie, but not me... yet. I fear her plans are getting closer to fruition.

TL;DR: Tired and clumsy human accosted by cat, blends plastic cap into smoothie. Drinks cap and gets plastic minorly lodged in throat, but otherwise fine.

Edit: Cat Tax- https://imgur.com/a/hZIzTyc

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