Skip to main content

TIFU: by going with my wife to a nude beach

A bunch of my wife’s friends were talking at dinner the other night how they miss going to nude beach when they were younger. We’re not old, mid 30s but my wife had told me she went in the past with this group of friends… some which are still single and some married. So at this dinner, I said that would be fun, I’ve always wanted to go… let’s do it. My wife protested and protested saying how she didn’t want to go, how it would be weird now and so on but I persisted. Eventually I convinced her and a few of her friends (the single ones) to go today.

We get there and all of a sudden my courage dropped significantly, in my mind hanging out with a bunch of naked women was an amazing thing but once our feet hit the sand and we saw other people naked I started to hesitate… the girls pressed forward, they were very excited and they dragged me along saying how this was my idea so I complied. We found a spot and set up our chairs and towels and one by one each girl stripped down, my wife went last and then there was me. I was fiddling around, trying to find things in my bag and trying to delay when one of the girls just tugs my bathing suit off… this was it… for some reason I thought it was a good idea to shave all my pubes and when the girl saw my she replied with “oh that’s interesting” I laughed and said I figured I’d make it look presentable. My wife chimes in and says out of the blue, don’t worry he’s a grower not a shower and everyone laughed. We all sat and people watched for a little while until I see a guy walking towards us with a porn start sized dick smiling and looking straight at my wife. He was walking over with another girl who I just kept my eyes on and once he got to our area he says “hey (my wife’s name) it’s so good to see you” my wife stood up and said “hey chris and they hugged each other… I thought it to be so odd and I was a little defensive that this naked guy was hugging my naked wife. Chris introduced the girl he was with has his wife and my wife turned to me introduces me and says Chris is an old friend from college… immediately my brain starts trying to remember any names she’s talked about but I just stood there while they made small talk. I looked at my wife’s friends and they just had these giddy school girl faces. Chris eventually departed our area and one of my wife’s friends said “is that chris your ex?”, I was left out of the conversation but I just stared at other people while they made jokes and comments about the size of his dick. Her one friend who is always a smart ass looks over to me and jokingly says we’ll we guess he’s a shower… the girls all laughed and my wife’s cheeks were beat red. I rebutted to the their laughter and said the age old ‘it’s not the size that matters it’s how you use it’ and of course the smart ass girl says to my wife “is that true (wife’s name)” to which she replied no comment and smiled.

TL;DR went to the nude beach with my wife and her friends and her very hung ex showed up.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...