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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by thinking my weak little body could handle spice.

Normally when I order “super hot” Indian food, I do it in restaurant. NORMALLY that’s the perfect amount of spice. Just enough to clear your sinuses and induce a mild state of euphoria.

Last night however, I ordered from them on insert delivery service.

Holy fucking shit.

Now I heard that Indian restaurants tone it down for the white people who think they can handle it (perfectly fair). But damn I didn’t realize what problems that could pose lmao

Initially, and much to my delight, what was delivered to me was far spicier than anything I have ever eaten. Past the point where spicy feels hot, just straight up vibrations from your face all the way to the tips of your fingers and toes. Absolutely delicious.

After guzzling down half my meal, my right nostril starts bleeding profusely.

10 minute break, back to nirvana.

Exactly two bites in, my other nostril starts bleeding.

Jam that bitch up with tp and keep rolling coz this shit delicious.

Not even an hour after finishing my meal my stomach starts cramping in a big way. After unsuccessfully rummaging around for pepto bismal, I call it a night hoping for things to improve after rest.

Nope.

I’m up all night tossing and turning like someone is distilling moonshine right into my gi tract.

I remember waking up to take the spiciest shit of my young life at least a half dozen times.

Things have yet to improve

I may or may not be ordering the same dish tonight… idk man it was really good

TLDR: had the spiciest(best) indian food I’ve ever had. My body said no thank you.

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