Skip to main content

TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

Post a Comment

TIFU by thinking my weak little body could handle spice.

Normally when I order “super hot” Indian food, I do it in restaurant. NORMALLY that’s the perfect amount of spice. Just enough to clear your sinuses and induce a mild state of euphoria.

Last night however, I ordered from them on insert delivery service.

Holy fucking shit.

Now I heard that Indian restaurants tone it down for the white people who think they can handle it (perfectly fair). But damn I didn’t realize what problems that could pose lmao

Initially, and much to my delight, what was delivered to me was far spicier than anything I have ever eaten. Past the point where spicy feels hot, just straight up vibrations from your face all the way to the tips of your fingers and toes. Absolutely delicious.

After guzzling down half my meal, my right nostril starts bleeding profusely.

10 minute break, back to nirvana.

Exactly two bites in, my other nostril starts bleeding.

Jam that bitch up with tp and keep rolling coz this shit delicious.

Not even an hour after finishing my meal my stomach starts cramping in a big way. After unsuccessfully rummaging around for pepto bismal, I call it a night hoping for things to improve after rest.

Nope.

I’m up all night tossing and turning like someone is distilling moonshine right into my gi tract.

I remember waking up to take the spiciest shit of my young life at least a half dozen times.

Things have yet to improve

I may or may not be ordering the same dish tonight… idk man it was really good

TLDR: had the spiciest(best) indian food I’ve ever had. My body said no thank you.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by fucking my coworker

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by shopping on Amazon

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...
Post a Comment
Read more