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TIFU by thinking it was just period cramps.

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TIFU By not checking myself before wrecking myself…

TIFU By not checking myself before wrecking myself…

My wife is gone for work so tonight I decided on a simple dinner. I went ahead and threw a frozen pizza in the oven… Once it was done I got 3 large slices on double paper plates (Yes I skipped the step where I allow the pizza to cool. Like who has time for that?). After getting in bed to eat dinner which I don’t normally do but tonight was an exception as I was alone, I decided to pick a show to watch. I decided to watch some Bigfoot show and it must not have been that entertaining because it allowed my mind to wander. I began thinking about the movie big daddy for some reason… And then all of a sudden I remembered “Damn you Scuba Steve!” After chuckling to myself I have a thought… Was scuba Steve a real toy? I honestly had no idea but I had to find out. My phone was all the way across the bedroom on the nightstand so in an excited hurry to find the truth flipped the sheet off of me as well as my plate of steaming hot pizza. Most of it landed face down on my white sheets except for a string of hot cheese across my thigh. I can’t recall the profanity that I screamed but needless to say I knew I shouldn’t of eaten in bed in the first place. So trying to make this fuck up feel more worth it by posting it on here for the world to see. PS: Scuba Steve is a fictional character for the Movie Big Daddy created by Adam Sandler based on a scuba toy he had when he was a kid.

TL;DR Got too excited to find out if Scuba Steve is a real kids toy and in the pursuit of getting my phone for answers I flipped my plate of steaming hot pizza onto the white bed sheets and burned my thigh with hot cheese.

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