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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU and found out what is like to get toothpaste on the b-hole

Today, like most days, I took a shower. Sometimes, I like to brush my teeth in the shower. You got your hot water, little steam, and just go to town with that toothbrush. Make a little mess, mid-sesh rinse, no problem! Switch to the pulse setting for a pressure washed clean. Perfect.

As I was showering this morning, my toothbrush slipped and I dropped the toothpaste onto the little half seat thing in our shower. No big deal, right? WRONG.

Now, my wife's been out of town for a few days. And, when in the course of human desires, it becomes necessary for one man to undertake certain tasks solo, and a hot steamy ambiance concurs, one must assume the power of self and burp the worm.

So, this leads up to me sitting on that little half seat thing, and I eventually notice a certain... Freshness. A slight tingling. A distracting iciness. Quickly becoming an all too wintergreeny bite on my brown eye. My error becomes very apparent. I drop the task at hand to try and rinse my way out of a burning sensation.

But It's too late. The damage is done. For several hours I'm constantly reminded about how I accidentally cleaned both ends with the same product.

TL;DR: forgot I dropped toothpaste on the shower wank station and learned something I never wanted to know

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