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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

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TIFU By Acting As My Own Attorney in Court

Divorced three years now and settled with alimony and child support and everything. I’m all paid up, all good. But now my ex is taking me to court to try and increase child support payments in case my income went up (it hasn’t). The other attorney is asking for three years of bank statements, tax returns, W2s, 1099s, credit cards, etc.

The first attorney I hired in my divorce case four years ago can’t be an attorney anymore, he is disbarred. Probably for good reason, he was a horrible person. The second attorney I called when this came up and they said she is no longer employed at Cordell and Cordell, the law firm I used. Makes sense, she was also not good. I set up an appointment with another attorney there and paid her $200 for the consultation. At the beginning of the Zoom meeting she checked twice to make sure my $200 was paid and when she found out it was she gave me some tips on what to say and said if I want to hire her it would be $2500. Well I don’t have $2500 so that’s not even an option. I told her I can’t afford that so she coached me through what to do during our consultation. It wasn’t exactly good coaching though, she told me to keep saying the requests were unduly broad and burdensome. I wrote those words down on my notes and circled it three times. I meant to Google what that entailed but forgot.

I tried doing what she said to do. I went to the law library and filed objections to everything and then today we had a hearing on the Motion to Compel.

Me(looks at notes): Your honor that’s unduly broad and burdensome

Judge: Why?

Me: Because Um (looks at notes) because it’s unduly broad and burdensome

Judge: okay you have the buzzwords down but that’s about it. Did you know you didn’t submit any evidence for this as requested?

Me: I’m sorry your honor, no, I didn’t submit anything, no

Judge: Why not?

Me: Unduly broad? And burdensome?

[Loud Gavel Noises]

Judge: I’m done with this, you have two weeks to get her everything she requested. Also I’m ordering you to pay half her attorney fees. Next!

They say he who acts as his own attorney has a fool for representation and for a client. You know what I say? Well that sounds unduly broad and burdensome šŸ¤£

TL:DR Made a mess of court proceedings, kept saying the same buzzwords, lost in court because I acted as my own attorney and I am Big Dumb

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