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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by going downtown on a woman, only to find the most horrific thing that I’ll never be able to forget

I met a girl at a sneaker event a month back. We’ve been talking ever since and I really liked her. We’ve been on multiple dates that lasted hours long. She is cute, seems very clean, smells good.

Today, we went out for a drink but we loved each other’s company so a drink turned to tons of cocktails. She was quite drunk and didn’t seem like she could go back home. I offered she can crash at my place and she accepted.

Later at home, we were both drunk and started making out. We both planned to take things slow but one thing lead to another and we didn’t want to stop. I am an ass man and I am all for eating ass. As I started going down from the lips to the cheeks, I tasted something which felt like a chemical. It felt weird but I kept going.

Until, I saw a weird bump down there of approximately 1 inch draining some yellow and white puss out of it. I freaked out and knew I was tasting something weird. The puss was all over between her cheeks and I was eating it since the past few minutes. I felt like puking but I did not want to make her uncomfortable. I asked her what it was, and she said she has a pilonidal cyst which drains once in a while but she didn’t know it would drain today out of all days. I asked her why she didn’t tell me about it and she said she forgot she had it.

TL;DR I fucked up by going down a woman and eating the pus from a pilonidal cyst

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