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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by talking shit about my teacher while she was right behind me

Wee bit embarrassing this one. Today I (16M) was sat at the back of my maths class with my friend Jake in P3, my last lesson before lunch. My teacher, Miss McDonald, is probably the most uninteresting person I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. She teaches things in such a boring way that you immediately forget everything she’s said after 10 seconds of her saying it. I’ve referred to her as ‘Mini McDonald’ not because she’s short (which she is), but because she is obsessed with using the whiteboards we have on the back of our planners (that we have to bring to every lesson)

One things she’s bad at as well is helping people. If she sees you with your hand up, she will look your way and then do a lap around the class in the opposite direction, stopping off to help people who don’t have their hands up. This was the case today. I had my hand up for at least 10 minutes and she was still nowhere near me, so I decided fuck it I’m just gonna try do my work at the same time. I still kept my hand up while doing it so she’d eventually make her way over. For at least another 5 minutes I sat there with my hand aching like mental, before I sat up, swapped ands and said this, word for word, to Jake:

‘Jesus Christ Mini McDonald, will you hurry your speccy fucking four-eyed arse over here’

I expected Jake to be laughing as he would normally, but instead he just stared at me. I then turned around to find Mini McDonald staring at me, right behind me. She shouted at me to say that again. I said nothing, so she grabbed the planner and told me to ‘get out of the classroom right now and wait for me outside’.

I’m not a guy who gets in trouble a lot but I’m also not afraid to speak my mind at all. Mini McDonald went on a screaming rant about respect to me, before giving me two weeks of detention, sending me to the class next door, and phoning my mum during lunch. So I’ve got all that to look forward to now.

TL;DR - I said something about my teacher without realising she was right there

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